I expect ridiculous things from soaps. It’s part of their
charm, and it’s what keeps people tuning in every week day. But every now and
then something will happen that just makes me so angry that I have trouble
expressing myself. (Of course, that will make writing my column a real challenge
To what do I refer?
patently absurd notion that Sheila Carter had plastic surgery to look exactly
Aside from the fact that Sheila is older than Phyllis,
Phyllis is a half a foot taller than Sheila and has a completely different bone
and body structure. What did those miracle surgeons do…give the woman leg
extensions, sheer off her hip bones, and liposuction just about everything she
owns? C’mon. It’s not like they can just slap some bad teeth and a cheap wig
Sheila was the same height as Lauren, and Kimberlin Brown
is a normal looking, curvy woman. Phyllis is tall and Michelle Stafford has a
model thin, perfectly toned physique. It’s idiotic to try to pass this story
off as a possibility…but the size and shape isn’t the only thing that offends me
about this scenario.
How exactly would the writers propose Sheila learn
everything about Phyllis’s life? All the inside jokes she would have with her
son and with Nick. All the business information from NVP. The portion of her
history that wasn’t in the tabloids.
And what about the time line? If Sheila isn’t really dead,
and has already switched with Phyllis, then Sheila would have had her complete
transformation and immersion into all the facts of Phyllis’s life in around 6
weeks. That would be the only way for the timing to work out so Sheila would be
the one pregnant.
On the other hand, if Sheila hasn’t swapped out yet,
then she had the entire summer to educate herself on all things Phyllis. None
of this means that Phyllis would have to be dead…Sheila could be keeping Phyllis
elsewhere, and staged the accident to make it look like she (Sheila) is
deceased. We all know rule #1: Dead is never really dead.
the meantime, the mere chance that the writers may actually pursue this nonsense
has completely ruined Nick and Phyllis for me. It colors everything they’ve done
and said in 2006, and makes a viewer second guess every conversation, no matter
how innocuous. It makes the whole relationship completely creepy. After
watching their romance blossom, I couldn’t stomach seeing any portion of their
elopement, and I haven’t watched a scene between them since the Sheila thing was
floated out there. All the buildup for a wedding only to tarnish it with one of
the most foolish tales ever penned. What a complete waste.
Elsewhere in Genoa City, Carmen’s body turned up opening
night at Indigo, just as predicted. I sure am tired of listening to everyone
trash the poor girl. Every single one of the people bad-mouthing her would have
had anyone else arrested if they had behaved as Dru did. Do you think Victor or
Brad would put up with someone putting their respective lady-loves in a
headlock? Doubtful. So why does Dru get a pass while Carmen gets venom
spat at her?
Phyllis has been Carmen’s sole ally…’course if it turns out
to be Sheila, the writers can just imply the support was only because Sheila’s
I don’t know why the show became so determined to paint
Carmen as evil. The only break was when Neil finally remembered who found the
property which has become his jazz club. Oh…yeah…Carmen did that nice thing for
him, while encouraging him to make his dream a reality.
I almost choked when Neil said to someone, “I try to keep
my business and personal life separate.” Really. Since when does working with
your wife, son, son-in-law, and son-in-law’s mother at Newman Enterprises -
while dating the company’s P.R. person - qualify as keeping a person’s business
and personal lives separate?
Kudos, though, to the actors who comprise the Winters
family for so quickly learning sign language. It’s really impressive, and it’s
an excellent way to encourage others to improve communications with the hearing
I found the debut of Neil’s club mildly disturbing. It was
so odd. G.C. residents who normally don’t get along mingling while listening to
Aaron Neville. It was not unlike a strange dream I once had.
What’s the deal with NuBilly oozing up to Jana while she’s
on a date with Kevin? There he was putting his arm around someone else’s date.
I had hopes for this actor when they first cast him, but it appears he has the
personality of a Styrofoam cup, and about as much talent. I won’t miss him.
And then Jana took a spin with young William. Why??? Hey! Jana! Dance with the one who brought ya.
Good news: Victor’s returning to his old self, and he knows
Jackie has been a bad boy. We’ll take a closer look next week.
One more thing…it seems The Martini Kitty indulged too much
while typing last week, causing me to call Devon’s mom by the wrong name.
Reader Kevin sent a note to correct me: Devon’s mom is named Yolanda.