While the soap opera press continues its premature excretion of enthusiasm for OLTL's first gay storyline since Daniel Coulson killed off half the town, it's time to take a more realistic look at how Kish is unfolding. 

My main topic this week is the Kyle/Fish story, but first I have to address something I read in Soap Opera Weekly that made my blood boil. It is in regards to comments made by Ron Carlivati on the Stacy storyline. I am convinced after reading this that Carlivati is flat-out delusional. I realize it is difficult to be objective about one's own work, and that is why I feel compelled to bring this up. Ron Carlivati created this unfortunate Frankenstein monster known as Stacy "Plastica" Morasco, and I naively believed he had been forced to do so by Brian Frons - because how could a talented writer possibly believe this would be a good thing for the show and for the fans? Granted, there have been entertaining moments recently in the Morasco Fiasco, simply because the MONTHS of tortuous monotony in the storyline finally subsided when Stacy's lies were exposed. But that doesn't make it a good story, and it certainly doesn't justify the creation of Stuh-cee.   

Ron Carlivati in SOW, regarding Stacy's miscarriage: "Stacy is a villain. Even the most disliked characters who do truly awful things can become the most compelling characters to watch. Former rapist Todd Manning is now one of the show's most popular characters... I don't know about anybody else, but as horrible as she is, I felt bad for her."

Really, Ron? You felt bad for her? Did anyone else feel bad for her? As I watched Stacy curl into the fetal position and cry her ass off after losing her demon spawn, I laughed and applauded. Seeing Stacy miserable is entertaining. She is subhuman, devoid of intelligence, spirituality, emotional truth, or any redeeming quality. She is quite frankly, a two-dimensional psychopath. Yes, Ron, we love villains. But Stacy is not a villain - she is a trashy whore with a pea brain. There is a HUGE difference. Stacy is no Carlo Hesser. She is no Mitch Laurence. She is no Allison Perkins. She is no Margaret Cochran. She damn sure isn't a Lindsay Rappaport or a - gasp! - Dorian Lord. And she sure as hell isn't Todd Manning. I am SHOCKED that Ron Carlivati openly compares Stacy to Todd!!! What a travesty. Let me explain: Todd Manning is one of the show's most popular characters for one reason and one reason only: Roger Howarth and Trevor St. John are two of the best actors to ever set foot on a soap opera set. That is all. Great villains are played ONLY by great actors. Crystal Hunt suffices as a stripper living in an alternate reality, but she's no great actress. I'm not sure yet if she's really an actress at all, or just a grown up Jon Benet Ramsey.    

I think we all know the real reason Crystal Hunt/Stacy were brought onto the show, and that was to distract the viewers from disliking Gigi, who was probably the most boring character on the show until Stacy arrived. Gigi hate was becoming an epidemic, and that has really subsided now that Stacy hate is the most popular hate in town. So congratulations, ABC - you succeeded in making me hate Gigi a lot less, especially now that Schuyler is in the picture. But was it really worth it? You utterly destroyed Rex in the process. Saddling him with Gigi was bad enough - now he's been sacrificed on her alter. R.I.P., Rex Balsom. And now we're seemingly stuck with soulless Stacy for God knows how long. TPTB are NOT listening to the viewers. The viewers do not want Stacy to be redeemed. The viewers want Stacy DEAD.       

I'm sorry, I don't mean to be cruel. But I resent that the head writer of this show is STILL trying to sell us on Stacy. It's truly patronizing. Wake up and smell the coffee, Ron! We have whole-heartedly rejected this abhorrent addition to the show and we are looking forward, with glee, to the murder mystery that will unfold after her (hopefully) gruesome demise. The fact that Crystal Hunt has been added to the show's opening is extremely discouraging. We do not want Stacy! We reject her!  And why, may I ask, is Soap Opera Weekly advertising Stacy's storyline to us as if they have been bought and paid for by Brian Frons? The cover of SOW proclaims:  "Hope for Hateful Stacy," then goes on to talk about how her friend coming to town to help her get pregnant again is going to make everyone like Stacy more. Carlivati also says that Stacy and her friend Kim are like Starr and Langston. Give me a break, Ron. How dumb do you think the fans are? I think the fans are the only people left in this equation who are thinking at all. 

Oh dear. I'm getting worked up. And now I have to piss everyone else off by talking about how disappointed I am with the Fish and Kyle storyline. First of all, I am seriously befuddled by certain high-profile soap journalists choosing the Fish/Kyle story as the single best thing going on the show right now. Oh, puh-lease! Let's face facts: This storyline is getting uniformly glowing reviews because most of the people reviewing it are gay and don't want to slam a gay storyline. Well, screw that. I am going there. Yes, OLTL (and daytime in general) was long overdue for a gay storyline. Strike that - we don't need gay storylines, we need gay characters.  That's the problem with daytime and gayness - gays are only allowed to participate in "gay storylines," i.e., dealing with homophobia, coming out of the closet, being serial killers (whoops), etc. Gay characters are seldom, if ever, allowed to just be characters and have storylines outside of their sexuality. What is really more homophobic, being regulated to a stereotype, or not being represented at all? I don't know the answer - I'm just asking the question. 

So far in the "Kish" storyline, I have been pleasantly surprised by one thing and one thing only. That is, I am really liking Brett Claywell's Kyle. However, I do NOT like him with Fish. In fact, I do not like Fish at all. I found him annoying when he was straight and goofy, and now that he's gay and boring, I like him even less. A few months ago, he was a bumbling dork of a wannabe womanizer. Now he's a closeted gay man who is having sex with yet another woman while accusing his ex-lover of "assaulting" him with a kiss. You know what? Oliver Fish is not only a coward, but he's an ass, too. What's even more perplexing about this story though is that Fish continues to successfully have sex with women, and now I hear he may have sex with another woman in the coming weeks. 

So let me be clear: FISH IS NOT GAY! I have gone over the situation a million times. Yes, Fish had a gay relationship with Kyle. Yes, he is still attracted to men. Yes, he is suppressing that side of himself, which is unhealthy and dishonest. However, he is NOT GAY. He is patently bisexual. Gay men are not able to be turned on and satisfy women sexually. That is called bisexuality. Maybe the producers and writers of OLTL are gay men who perhaps don't take bisexuality seriously, but nonetheless they have written a bisexual character who they insist is gay. It is confusing and frankly, poorly written. The result: I do not like Fish. I simply don't care about him.     

Kyle, on the other hand, is developing into a sensitive, layered man whose sexuality really isn't his defining attribute. He may in fact be the first gay character on a daytime soap who is not at all a stereotype. Kyle's budding relationship with the show's most obvious "fag hag", Roxy, is sweet and funny. Even more surprising though is the scorching chemistry between Kyle and David Fumero's Cristian! You can tell Cris really likes Kyle, and the potential is there for a new "best friends" relationship - something Cristian has never had outside of big brother Antonio. I know the show won't go there, but the real gay or bisexual storyline waiting to happen is Kyle and Cris, not Kyle and Fish. 

As for the kiss... I hated it. Everyone in the press flipped out and said it was the "hottest" kiss ever on daytime. Are you KIDDING me? The entire scene leading up the kiss was forced, over the top, and unbalanced. Claywell is appealing but still a novice actor (not, as a certain columnist proclaimed, ready for an Emmy!). He overacted this scene by shouting all of his lines in anger, while Scott Evans lacked believability and underplayed his scenes to a point where I had to question whether Fish might actually be asexual rather than gay. The kiss itself was awkward and uncomfortable. Not romantic, not sexy, not hot. I'm sorry folks, but these two do not have chemistry! I've been watching soaps for a very long time and I know what chemistry is. It doesn't matter if the actors involved are guys, girls, or one of each.  Kyle and Cris have chemistry, Kyle and Roxy have chemistry, but I just don't see any with Kyle and Fish. Sorry. 

The simple fact is, couples are made or broken on actor chemistry. When you force a couple together to tell a story without testing their chemistry first, bad things happen. Just look at John and Marty. I've been shocked and kind of disgusted with the over the top reaction Kish is getting. I know it's a big deal and we should all be glad the show is finally including racial and sexual diversity - but that alone does not make for good storytelling. The soap press is SO overreacting to Kish. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I hope it gets better. I really do. 

Monday, 8/3:  "Tea for Two"

-  Okay, let's talk about the Grey Gardens fantasy sequences. Robin Strasser was phenomenal and Kassie DePaivia was a hoot, but I must confess that I found it all kind of pointless and, as some of my readers pointed out to me in mail this week, a bit sexist. I haven't seen Grey Gardens, so what exactly am I supposed to be getting out of this? It was harmless and kind of fun, but it would have been better coming from Dorian's mind instead of Blair's. Coming from Blair's cavernous, esteem-lacking mind, it reinforced her image as a desperate, sad, pathetic, anti-feminist. If Dorian had been the one doing the fantasizing, it would have referenced her fear of familial mental illness while expressing her viewpoint that Blair's never-ending saga with Todd is disappointing to her. It's not a huge deal, but I wonder why the writers chose Blair as the vessel of Grey Gardens rather than Dorian. In the end, this bit of whimsy was neither here nor there for me. 

-  As for the stalker's hand - another topic a lot of you are writing to me about - it looks like it could be a woman's hand but it also could be a man. TPTB hired an androgynous day player to try to throw us off. I don't think it means anything. But seeing the stalker caress Nash's grave clues us in that it's probably either a family member or Claudia.

-  Todd, on church:  "This place is like a dentist's office to me."  Hah!

-  Reality check, Tea: How can you possibly buy this crap about a "new" Todd?  Wake up, girl.

-  Remember all of those scenes where Viki made her wedding sound so huge, like a thousand people were coming? Well, looks like there's only about twenty guests to me!

-  What a selfish little ingrate Gigi is for ditching Viki's wedding just to go tell Stacy to abort her child. What a bitch.

-  Rex and Schuyler really do look alike, but I can tell them apart because Rex is a darker shade of orange.

Tuesday, 8/4:  "I Deux"

-  How funny was Todd's phone going off during the wedding, and playing "Ride of the Valkyries," no less!? 

-  Even though it was tactless and classless of them, I love that Dorian and Blair crashed the wedding flat-out wasted.  Soap characters need to be constantly doing naughty, foolhardy things to entertain us. 

-  I have a couple of questions for Gigi, who clearly is - shall we say - a little short on brains: First, why haven't you looked into your parents' supposed deaths? If you gave a crap about them, you probably would have already tried to make contact before knowing they were dead. But surely after finding out about their demises, even an estranged daughter would want details or perhaps even set out to visit their graves. Why, Gigi, do you not seek closure with your parents?  Now that Stacy has been exposed as a pathological liar (that's putting it kindly) who is out to destroy your life, why have you not questioned the information she gave you about your parents' deaths? Why aren't you suspicious? Surely you could ask Rex to look into it for you.  In fact, why hasn't Rex done this on his own now that he knows of Stacy's machinations?  Do you just not care one way or another to find out if your parents are really dead?  If Stacy can put Shane's life on the line for her romantic pursuits, surely she would have no problem lying about the life and death of your parents.  One more question, Gigi - why have you not thought to marry Rex NOW, before Stacy's baby is born?  I mean, I realize that deep down you probably do not trust Rex anymore and never will again (with good reason), but you say you want Rex and don't want to share him with Stacy and her "baby."  So why not marry him?  Wait! One more question for you: Why are you still trying to reason with Stacy when time after time, she has demonstrated no willingness or ability to reason?  Gigi, you are starting to look so dumb that it's no surprise a robot like Stacy had no problem tearing your life into shreds. You kind of deserve it. 

-  Why isn't Roxy at the wedding? That was a glaring oversight.

-  I know Ron Carlivati wants me to feel bad for Stacy (never gonna happen), but I feel bad for Bo instead. Bob Woods is just nailing Bo's state of sour inaction to perfection.

-  I almost peed myself when Todd was trying to catch the bouquet! Trevor St. John has been on a comedic roll of late. 

Wednesday, 8/5:  "Broken Flowers"

-  You know what would be really scandalous and risk-taking of the show? To write an affair for Bo and... Rachel. Just sayin'.

-  Greg is starting to grow on me. He has mad game, and he is playing Rachel like a fiddle. I'm seeing chemistry. I love how Greg called Rachel out on her issues - he is SO right about her! When she threw that drink on him, I just knew this couple is going to work. Rachel is so boring. I think a tumultuous relationship with Greg could be just the thing she needs to be spiced up.

-  Farah Fath's boobs are turning into the biggest scene stealers since Melissa Archer's boobs.

-  I think TPTB missed a huge opportunity to complicate everyone's lives. Drunken Blair should have hooked up with Greg the night of the reception. Rachel had just thrown wine on him, and Blair was sitting there dejectedly. They could have had some hot sex and gotten Blair a little bit out of her tired Todd triangle.

Thursday, 8/6:  "A Kiss is Just a Kiss"

-  How much do you think JPL hates filming Stacy's fantasy sequences where Rex is in love with her?  

-  Loved the Viki/Charlie scenes on their wedding morning.

-  Oops. Cole and Brody already screwed up big time. Shocking, right?

-  Roxy: "You gotta let your freak flag fly!  Everything else is like a bad wig - ugly, itchy, and foolin' nobody!" Great line!!!

-  John and Marty are excruciatingly painful to watch. This is a chemistry vortex.

-   I found myself on Gigi's side today when she explained to Rex how him wanting this baby will divide their family forever.  Why DOES Rex want this baby?  It makes no sense.
 

-  Of COURSE Roxy is being used as a vehicle for a gay storyline. 

-  The Russians are behind Llanview's drug problem? What is this, the 80's? Is the Cold War on again?

-  I've already said the Kish kiss didn't work well for me, because the scene leading up to it wasn't working. However, the Gigi/Schuyler kiss was HOT. Hot, hot, hot.  I could really get behind this pairing, which is amazing considering that a year ago I hated Gigi more than any other character. I still think she's dumber than a rock, but something about her and Schuyler together is just nice to watch.

Friday, 8/7:  "Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me"
 

-  Note to Starr: Somewhere in the last couple of years, your brain got lost. Now you are stupidly compromising your baby daddy's undercover mission out of selfishness. Please get a clue and back the hell up.

-  My first impression of Elijah Clark is that he's a character who could make an impact. I'm intrigued.

-  JPL is on crack again today in the Rex/Bo scenes. Someone needs to confiscate those red bulls. 

-  Surprisingly nice Nora/Clint scenes at the diner, reminding us this is a triangle, not just about Bo and Nora.

-  Isn't it strange how traditionally pig-headed, sexist Cris Vega is so gay friendly?  Is that a bromance he's developing with Kyle, or something more?  Hah hah.

-  I am going on record now to say that Destiny will become a lawyer when she grows up. Can't you see it?

-  I have a feeling Todd is going to be the one to royally screw up Cole's undercover mission.

-  How juicy is Florencia Lozano when Tea gets the goods on Bo and Nora. She cannot wait to rub this in Nora's face! Thank goodness Tea is back because Lozano is simply one of the best.

 

Monday, 8/10:  "Kiss and Tell"

-  Dorian slept in the church?  I love it!

-  Loved the Todd/Viki/Charlie scenes at the diner. Trevor St. John is making me laugh constantly. He is a comedic genius!

-  I also chuckled when Nora tried to explain to the judge who "Mr. and Mrs. Buchanan" were. 

-  Why does Shaun think he and Rachel are "cool like that?" Did I miss something or have Shaun and Rachel not even had their first kiss yet?

 

Tuesday, 8/11:  "The Blair Snitch Project"

-  Todd and Tea are the best couple on the show right now. I loved their wrestling match and just seeing their lighter side in general.

-  Okay, OLTL is officially the funniest show on television. I was cracking up as Dorian tried to explain to David all of the happenings he's missed since leaving for LA. Especially the part about Lola doing acid at prom and poking holes in the condoms. I guess David is right - a reality show about La Boulaie would truly be must-see television!

-  I actually think the writers did not do a good job with Dorian's reaction to David's reality show proposition. As the world's biggest Dorian Lord fan, I can say with reasonable assurance that Dorian would be at least tempted to do the show.

Wednesday, 8/12:  "I'll Be Watching You"

-  Hallelujah for Viki and Dorian jockeying for power plays at the hospital board meeting. You see, writers? Showing Dorian and Viki actually working or being career women is hugely entertaining and rounds them out. This is a side to both characters we have been missing for YEARS now. More, please!

-  And now we have Jared and Natalie FINALLY being shown at B.E. again.  Someone behind the scenes found part of their brain again. Yes!

-  The Jessica/Marty scenes were terribly boring.

-  The stalker is either a man or a woman in drag. He/she clearly blames Nat and Jared for Nash's death. Has to be a family member or Claudia, right?

-  Of all of the characters who have to "act" in the undercover storyline, Starr is the worst actor and Cole is actually the best. He can lie with a very straight face.  Starr is terrible at it. She needs to stay the hell away from Cole until this is over because her stupidity and inability to "act" is going to get her baby killed or something.

-  Whoa. Why does Dorian want to be Chief of Staff again? I'm intrigued.

-  The mayor is clearly behind the drugs, but I think TPTB should think outside the box and go with someone else: How about Markko's dad? Can you imagine that hypocrisy?

 

Thursday, 8/13:  "Lies and Whispers"

-  Oh my God!  That crazy loon bag Jessica just assaulted one of David's crew members. I love it!

-  Roxy and Kyle are becoming a super couple! And Roxy just called Fish "as queer as a three-dollar bill!" Hah!

-  I like the budding John/Brody bromance. Why is John so good at bromances and so bad at actual romances? Note to writers: John McBain is the one who needs to come out of the closet, not Fish! John is so gay.

-  Why can't Layla hear Fish and Cris arguing over his gayness when she is like ten feet away in their apartment? They must have had the place soundproofed by the people who did La Boulaie's soundproofing. They're really good.

-  I applauded Ford (David's crew member) for calling Jessica "ditsy." That's practically a compliment since what she actually is NUTS.

-  OH MY LORD!  Erika Slezak, no you did not just say "Tr'ssp'ssing!" Viki is secretly British, you know. "I will not have Mr. Ford arrested for tr'ssp'ssing." Hah, hah!

-  More belly aches when David suggests to Viki that she might get nominated for an Emmy! Talk about an inside joke!

-  Marty is STILL whining about her frigidity and yet she has not sought any therapy to help her get over the Todd stuff. She doesn't want to get over it, I guess. But I'm sick of her whining. I liked Marty when she was with Todd, but now she's gone back to the sad, wilted flower I used to loathe.

-  Roxy doesn't know the difference between "progressive" and "Progresso." More hilarity. 

-  Um, if Fish's parents are so "ultra-conservative," then why isn't he the least bit concerned about the fact that Layla is black? Are you telling me they are so staunchly conservative that Fish is still closeted at his age but they have no problem with interracial relationships?  Hmmm.

-  Marty and John = worst couple on the show.

Friday, 8/14:  "Baby and the Tramp

-  Not only is Cris Vega open-minded toward gay people, but he also can psychically communicate with dogs. Maybe he should become a dog whisperer since he still apparently has no job. Maybe he can work alongside Madame Delphina.

-  Why on earth was Todd such a jerk to Gigi today? Not that I blame him, but that seemed out of left field.

-  When Stacy and Kim uttered together their motto about "sex, drugs, and rock and roll," I seriously almost puked. They're so annoying.

-  Why did Blair just make a reference to Rex's face that he has no children? Um, she was around during all that Gigi/Adriana drama when the truth about Shane came out. This seemed like a major writing mistake or maybe a flubbed line. 

-  You know what? Cris and everyone else need to leave Fish and Layla alone. Fish is right - Layla hasn't told Fish about her past, so why is it Cris' business to tell Layla about his past? For all we know, Layla was a hooker out in LA, you know (now there's a story waiting to happen). Fish and Layla had sex, and Fish has also slept with Stacy, so he's obviously not gay. If he doesn't want to tell Layla about his previous homosexual activities or thoughts then he's definitely a liar but it's not really anyone else's business. What if Cris found out that Layla had a female lover in college?  Do you really think he'd be threatening to tell Fish that Layla is "gay?"  What if Layla were dating a woman right now?  Do you think Cris would be yelling in her face that she is "straight" and needs to stop lying to herself?  No, human relationships are unpredictable and sometimes defy categorization or labels.  Fish and Layla should be left alone with their private business.  Whatever happened to live and let live?

-  You know who I love? Jack Manning, that's who. Carmen LoPorto is the next Tuc Watkins. He slays me with humor. Today he called his house "Blah Boulaie."  Priceless! 

-  Jack:  "There are no secrets at the La Boulaie." Please, can I adopt this kid? He is just awesome.

-  Oh my God, there's more!  Jack, to his father:  "Are you on medication?" Todd:  "No."  Jack:  "You got that lobotomy?"  Todd:  "Not yet."  Wow.  When did OLTL become the hottest COMEDY on the air?  More of Jack, please!!!

-  And how often do you see a little kid telling their dad to PLEASE make it work with another woman and not go back to "mommy?"  I don't think Blair would be too pleased with her son right now!

**MAIL REPORT**

"I hate what OLTL is doing to women! This is all very sad for me because I've loved OLTL for years through lots of ups and downs. I certainly have hated storylines and characters before but now it's feeling hopeless... The writers can create nuanced stories, but they CHOOSE to portray most of the women, especially the young ones, as mindless boobs who have no depth, no reason to be. Heroines and villainesses alike are one dimensional. Jessica, a character I like, cries helplessly all the time; Natalie, a very strong feisty woman has NO story; Talia, a police officer at least, never really had story; Starr is a lobotomized Cole lover; Gigi had potential but she's dumb, dumb and dumb, Stacy, enough’s been said (she’s HATED not Loved to Hate); stripper #2 omg help! (is this what young women want to be?); Langston- still a bit feisty, does think for herself, but basically has no story. The older women are better but even Tea who I LOVED when she arrived back in town, seems only to live for Todd, and Blair is going nowhere."  -  JC

Yeah, I guess gay men like Ron Carlivati and Frank Valentini have no more respect for women than straight men like Bob Guza. Oh well. 

"I have to admit that I'm very proud of OLTL on this whole gay kiss thing. Look, I'm not exactly a fan of the Fish/Kyle thing because I think they are both boring but the fact is that I'm also an ATWT fan and I'm still waiting for a Luke/Noah love scene and it took months for the show to allow them to kiss. On the bright side, with OLTL, it took a while to reveal the Fish/Kyle relationship but after the reveal we, meaning the viewers, didn't have to wait months for a kiss. Some people might be yucked out by the kiss, my mom was one of them, but I mean this is supposed to reflect society so a kiss between two men, two women, a man and a woman should not be something that makes us cringe. People might be uncomfortable but there are people out there who are gay, straight or bi-sexual and it's about time that diversity was reflected more on TV." -  Dawn

I am proud of OLTL, too. However, I am not going to let my pride in their newfound diversity - both sexually and racially - distract me from analyzing the story as it plays out. The truth is, I thought the kiss was awkward and forced. It was not believable. It wasn't terrible either, it just wasn't a hot kiss for me. Maybe Brett Claywell and Scott Evans can take lessons from Hillary Smith and Bob Woods? Anyway, "amen" to everything else Dawn said. 

"Color me livid re: the fantasy sequence on Monday with Blair and Dorian. Sure, it was played for laughs and all, but guess what? I, for one, was NOT laughing. IMHO, in addition to being a complete and total waste of airspace, it was highly insulting to both the incandescent Kassie De Paivia and the fabulous Robin Strasser by its insinuation that their characters’ lives might just as well be over because they “don’t have a man." Like, hullo? Are we in the 21st century or back in the dark ages? I mean, in reality maybe some folks truly do feel this way, but it’s a very dated (not to mention misogynistic) notion, and that’s putting it mildly. I’m truly surprised at Ron Carlivati, that such crap was produced by his pen. Shame on you, Ron!"  - Rebecca

I haven't seen Grey Gardens. I hear it's excellent. Maybe if I'd seen it, my feelings about the knock-off OLTL segments would differ more strongly from Rebecca's.  But I must admit that while I enjoyed Strasser and DePaivia immensely, I did think the sequences seemed really sexist. The worst part about it? It came from Blair's mind, proving once and for all that Blair's world view is the antithesis to the women's liberation movement.  Blair is just a pathetic, weak creature. I still love watching DePaivia, but for Blair to imagine herself half-crazed and still desperate for Todd while Dorian sits around with dementia, really strikes me as insulting.  Clearly, Ron Carlivati does not respect Blair. I'm not saying any of the other recent writers have - certainly Dena Higley despised her. But I wonder why writers insist on painting Blair as - let's face it - stupid, when DePaivia is capable of giving her so many more layers. Blair is emotionally complex but intellectually childlike. All the more reason to delve into her past rather than rekindle the oldest triangle in town. 

"I can't believe no one has mentioned the magnificent job everyone did, including the writers, on having Blair imagine a Grey Gardens scene... unless no one knows about the reference. It was a Jessica Lang/Drew Barrymore movie based on a documentary. They did a magnificent job!  Everyone - and it was delightful." - Judy in Cleveland

I wanted to include Judy's viewpoint because a lot of readers expressed to me their enjoyment of the story. And like I said, I did enjoy it in terms of the acting.  And you know, OLTL goes outside the box with fantasy sequences like this and even if it's not perfect, I do admire the show for that. I actually would have preferred the sequence if it had come out of Dorian's mind. She has always had a real fear of mental illness, and she hates Blair's constant pining for Todd. So the fantasy would have worked better for me from Dorian's perspective. Coming from Blair, it just reinforced her pathetic world view and low self-esteem. 

"Why haven't Dorian and Blair taken Langston/Starr to the ob/gyn and have their two SEXUALLY ACTIVE daughters put on BIRTH CONTROL? Why are Starr/Cole and Langston/Markko depending on condoms as their ONLY birth control? For two smart girls Starr/Langston are being pretty dumb."-  Sheree

Good question. I suppose birth control pills are not dramatic enough to get attention from the writers. 

"I think it's a huge oversight that there hasn't been one mention of why Kevin and Joey are not attending their parents' wedding. It's especially glaring given that there's been so much talk lately of past relationships, with Viki reminiscing about her previous marriages and even Nora talking about her last marriage to Daniel. Seeing as how the wedding hasn't actually happened yet, I'm still hoping there will be some explanation given (for instance, planes were grounded in London because of weather or a security scare so they couldn't fly out in time). Come to think of it, where's Cord? And what about Nora's sister Susannah or her friendly ex, Hank?"  - Tim

The wedding has come and gone, and there was no mention of why Kevin, Joey, and Cord did not attend the wedding. Or Nora's parents for that matter! Surely RJ would have been invited as well. TPTB hired twenty extras and put everyone in nice dresses, so we're kidding ourselves if they'd bring back a name player just for a wedding.  Explaining away their absences ("Cord's busy with BE," "Kevin's tied up with meetings," etc.) would probably only highlight how absurd it is that half of the brides' and grooms' families were absent. 

"I think we saw today that the stalker is a woman... didn't you think so?"  - Patricia

I don't know. I think TPTB have deliberately hired androgynous day players to fill in as the stalker in order to keep us guessing. I paused my DVR on the stalker's hand and I honestly can't tell if it's male or female. Maybe the stalker is a hermaphrodite or transgendered. I really hope it's Allison but I'm sure it will be something way less entertaining. We shall see. 

That's it for this week.  Please send your OLTL thoughts, complaints, suggestions, and desperate pleas to:

Robert Iger, President of Disney (ABC Parent Company)
robert.a.iger@disney.com

Anne Sweeney, President of Disney-ABC
anne.x.sweeney@abc.com

Brian Frons, ABC Daytime President
500 S. Buena Vista St.
Burbank, CA 91521-4551
Brian.Frons@abc.com

Frank Valentini (Executive Producer)
C/O One Life to Live ABC Daytime
77 West 66th Street
New York, NY 10023
frank.valentini@abc.com

Ron Carlivati (Head Writer)
C/O One Life to Live ABC Daytime
77 West 66th Street
New York, NY 10023
rcarlivati@yahoo.com

ABC Comment Line: 323-671-4583

OLTL Viewer Comment Line: 212-456-3338

ABC Daytime Feedback Line: 212-456-7777

Thanks for reading, and don't forget to e-mail me.  PLEASE include your name or an alias in case I choose to print your comments!