When trying to pinpoint what I dislike most about the current direction of OLTL, lots of things come to mind. I highlighted a list of these things in last week's column, which you can access at the bottom of this page. I spoke of the way in which the writers have turned Dorian into an illogical clown over the past year;  how Mtich's return was a botched job; how they've lobotomized Blair, Tea, Starr, Rex, Todd, and so many other characters who once had sharp edges but who now are softer than warm cheese. This week, I continued to narrow in on OLTL's weakest aspects as sweeps came to a halt and I found myself mostly unengaged, disappointed, and doubly concerned about where things are heading.  What is wrong with the show, I asked myself. 

Why don't I care about these characters? Why is the show failing to elicit a response?    

I came up with three major elements to the current canvas that I believe are primarily responsible for my feeling distanced and uncaring about it. They are:

1.  Plot over character. This is a biggie, and something I've been talking about for a long time. With the daytime serial, there is no question as to the importance of plot. You have to build plots so that you can explode them and write climactic sweeps periods before beginning to weave new plots into the mix. It's not this basic structure of soaps that I question or dislike. But the most powerful element of the soap opera has always been character. The reason so many of us were addicted to soaps before we were even out of our teen years is because we felt we HAD to know what was going on with our favorite characters. And by "going on," I don't just mean what part of the plot was unfolding. I mean, What is Dorian wearing today?  Who will she run into at the Palace? Who will she be a bitch to today? Characters like Dorian and Roxy and Old School Blair were reliable sources of entertainment, and while their plot lines were often outlandishly entertaining, far more so were their personalities and every day interactions with family members, lovers, and rivals. Conversely, characters like Viki (or Laura on GH, or Marlena on DAYS, etc.) would provide maternal comfort and a sort of bizarre cosmic love for regular viewers, while also experiencing the hijinks of over-the-top plots which naturally suit daytime television characters. 

Over the past several years, nearly all of OLTL's major characters have been stripped of many of their basic, intrinsic qualities in order to suit plot points. Ron Carlivati and his team of writers certainly aren't the originators of this trend, but much to my surprise, they are carelessly continuing it. I detailed how this applies specifically to Dorian in last week's column. But one thing that really hit me this week was how much of the current regime's dumbing-down of beloved characters ties in with Ron Carlivati's apparent obsession du jour, which is...

2.  Obsession with children. There is no doubt that soap operas will always revolve around children and babies to some degree. Perhaps 50% (if not more) of all soap opera one night stands result in pregnancies, after all. And why is that?  Because it provides a plot point. If there is a love triangle on the canvas, a pregnancy can complicate that or be used to keep Couple A apart and make it seem like Couple B are getting together. Then one of several things can happen:  The mother can miscarry, the mother can fake a pregnancy, the mother can lie about paternity, the mother can have an abortion or go off to get one hoping to be saved by a knight in shining armor. Then, Couple A can get back together when all of the lies and drama surrounding the pregnancy and/or baby is revealed. Wow, just typing these soap opera clichés brings the genre's inherent sexism into a focus too sharp to seriously ponder for long. I don't want to imagine myself feeding off of a genre that has such badly ingrained ideas about women using babies to manipulate men. Yet it's very commonplace. But some soap opera pregnancies are between "true loves" or married couples who will end up together. These pregnancies will likely be fraught with health complications (Carly/GH is a good example). Other children appear out of nowhere to reveal their existences. These insti-children are another soap opera staple (Natalie, Danielle, Adriana). Others go to bed as a three year old and wake up in puberty, anxious to start high school - this mysterious condition is widely known as Soap Opera Rapid Aging Syndrome. This is a genre that naturally obsesses over babies and children. For that natural genre emphasis to be taken even further (as OLTL is doing lately) makes it seem like an unnatural, unhealthy obsession. It's a huge, perplexing turn off.   

Many soap storylines revolve around pregnancies, births, complications, health conditions in babies and children, paternity questions, secret children, miscarriages, women trying to get pregnant for some selfish purpose, and adopted kids who arrive in town to find their birth parents and seek revenge for being given up in the first place. This cycle of dramatically focusing on children is inevitable to a degree and often is an extension of whatever love triangles and quadrangles and couplings are going on at the time. But I think, over the years, this gimmick has worn thin and is one of the reasons the genre is dying out. It's certainly not doing OLTL any favors right now.  

Think about the typical soap audience twenty or thirty or forty years ago. They were nearly all stay at home mothers and their young children. The audiences expanded in the 80's when the soaps epitomized glamour and were a celebrated part of our culture. With the advent of cable television, and with the numbers of stay at home mothers declining to all time lows, the audiences soaps relied on vanished. When the internet came into play, things got only worse for soaps. So what did the industry do to help themselves adapt to changing times? Nothing, as far as I can see.

Black actors were marginally integrated into soaps over the years. We have more Latinos on OLTL than any other soap I'm aware of, but it's still not many. And where are the Asians? Finally soaps are including gay characters, though in very peripheral and stereotypical ways. It's taken way too long for soaps to catch up to the changes in our society and in our technology, which enables us to be entertained by vastly superior cable and nighttimes shows like Lost, True Blood, and more.  Notice that such shows do NOT revolve around babies and children. 

Why are soaps still catering to stay at home mothers? I'm not saying ignore this all-important demographic. But even that demographic wants to see stories about things other than making babies and losing babies and switching babies and fighting for custody of babies and worrying about children and finding out about long lost children and so on. The baby/kids obsession is not only alienating to people like me, but it's also insulting to the intelligence of the primary target demographic. 

I would never advocate soaps ditch all of the things that made them what they are. But certainly they need to evolve, and they really haven't yet. Ron Carlivati seems to have an obsession with children and babies more than even the typical soap writer. The big sweeps event revolved around the birth of a baby created by a gay man and a horrible, soulless slut. Now half of the town is going to fight over Sierra's custody while she fights some awful health condition. So we have weeks ahead of us of what really amounts to a plot about a baby featuring many characters who epitomize Problem Number One (they are pawns in a plot, not developed characters). We had nearly two solid years of storylines surrounding Chloe and Hope, and when those stories finally ended, Starr and Cole's characters lost every ounce of what made them watchable and were turned into permanent babysitters with no lives outside of their child. Viki and Dorian exist solely now to worry about their children. Much of Jessica's life has revolved around issues with her daughters and Hope. Todd is obsessed with his children. Tea anguished over having a secret daughter for years and once she let the cat out of the bag, she was lobotomized in the same way Starr was. Marcie McBain was completely obsessed with babies to a point where she actually lost her mental health. Her entire existence revolved around whether or not she'd ever have a baby. Gigi Morasco was brought on the show merely as a baby momma vessel for Rex, and now wants the baby that her sister had (that same sister whose own pregnancy/miscarriage/pregnancy cycle dominated our screens last year). Now we have Schuyler, Fish, Kyle, and half the town all obsessed over one baby. 

As a single man living a socially robust and urban lifestyle, how am I supposed to relate to ANY of these characters? Sure, some of my friends have babies, but they also have lives outside of their babies. I'm rather shocked that urban men write for this show and sustain an entire town that seems to exist solely for the purpose of obsessing over parenthood. Family is a crucially important element of soaps, yes - but our society has evolved and family now means many different things. This is why Roxy/Kyle works so well, because they are becoming family to one another despite not being related. But nearly everyone else on the canvas seems concerned only with their parental duties and quite frankly, for someone like me, they're all very, very boring to watch.  Which brings me to...

3.  Boring characters. For this there is no excuse. I'm going to be careful not to make this about the actors. One could surmise that really boring, useless characters are probably not being played by amazing actors, and vice versa. But for the sake of this column, I'll just say that there is a variety of talent levels and charisma present across the board, and I'm not attempting to judge that right now. My point is that, casting aside, far too many of the current show's characters are wholly boring to behold. I'm going to list them right now:

-  Gigi: The most nondescript, uninventive soap character since Tico Santi, whose only interest in life is being a mom. Totally boring; has existed from day one only to be a plot point revolving around babies and children. 

-  Schuyler: Also completely nondescript. Was written sloppily and inconsistently from day one. Has no essence whatsoever other than newly being obsessed with a baby he thinks is his. Has no connection to the canvas at all. Exists only to be part of plot points. 

-  Starr: Was great as a kid and early teen, but as soon as she got pregnant, turned into one of the most boring teen characters ever on a soap. Needs drastic storyline to reestablish and reinvent character. 

-  Cole: Only interesting when on drugs. Otherwise, boring would be a compliment.

-  Markko:  Jason Tam is great, but this character is just a space filler.

-  Langston: Her horniness for Ford is the only facet of this character since we found out her parents died. And that was years ago.

-  Blair: Though recent sex with Eli was watchable, Blair hasn't done anything interesting or had her own storyline in years upon years.

-  Rachel:  Apparently she's been fired, so I'll leave her alone.  But WOW, talk about BORING!

-  Greg: Too offensive to be called boring. Wholly unwatchable.

-  Kelly: So far since her return, I cannot stand her. She seems to have turned into a complete moron.

-  Adriana:  Only interesting as a bitch, but she's apparently back to being the boring nice girl we were stuck with for years. 

-  Fish: Sorry, but he's SO boring. Gayness does not make someone interesting.

-  Rex:  They stripped him of everything that made him unique in the first place.  Needs a drastic storyline away from Gigi/Shane to make him watchable again. 

-  Shane: Incredibly boring and vapid for a pre-teen character.

-  Cris and Layla: Nice chemistry, but since getting together, they've been reduced to day players. The writers treat them like they are boring, so that's how we'll perceive them.  It's so obvious the show is not invested here.  

-  Danielle: Came on with a bang but now merely whines in a one-note characterization. Being someone's offspring does not define a character. 

-  John:  Has been dull as dirt since day one. 

-  Marty:  Starting to pick up steam, but supposedly they're going to saddle her with... what else? A pregnancy. 

Then there are characters like Todd, Tea, and Dorian, who I can't think of as boring but who are honestly on the verge of being just that because they're not being written correctly. One could say TPTB are putting the focus of the show on the wrong characters (Gigi/Schuyler), and I would not argue, but I think that's only half of the problem. The real problem is that they are writing BORING characters in the first place. And boring characters make for boring stories. No matter how a story looks on paper, plot points can never satisfy real soap fans unless they come from the true essences of splashy, glamorous, colorful, and familiar characters we expect to engage with. That's why we tune in. Likewise, unoriginal storytelling that obsesses over pregnancies, babies, and children might be somewhat entertaining if the characters involved weren't vapid nothings like Gigi and Schuyler. When we continue to tune in over time and fail to connect with these characters any more, it's time to tune out. This sweeps period has been a real struggle, and looking back on 2009, I'm beginning to wonder how much longer I can invest in a show that is falling far below its potential. I think the ratings are the lowest in daytime for a reason, and it's time someone does something about it. 

Monday, 2/15

-  So it's February sweeps, when everything is supposed to be exciting and climactic, and we start the week off with Blair singing for about two minutes in her bedroom. This was redeemed though when I realized that she was singing the old OLTL opening theme song! 

-  Why the hell didn't Gigi kneel down first, so that if the ice broke, she would have much less of an impact and therefore sink less? 

-  Stacy's sudden glowing love of Gigi is SUCH BULLSHITTY WRITING! Not buying any of this. You spend a year of your life torturing your sister out of sheer evil hatred, and then she helps you deliver your baby out of basic human decency and suddenly - poof! You love her and want to go back to your childhood bond.  The writing for this made me reach for the nearest bed pan.

-  But I LOVED the Natalie/John/Marty scenes where Marty went OFF on John!  That was just awesome. Color me shocked, but this triangle is just about the best thing on the show right now. It's surprising me. The best part about it is that it's bringing Marty back to life and giving Susan Haskell a way to showcase her amazing talents again.

-  Do you know which Cramer woman is being killed? I do, so I am not going to make some of the comments I normally would because I don't want to spoil it for you if you don't know. I will save my feelings on this until after it airs. All I will say is this: I am both relieved and irritated.

-  When Gigi fell into the water, I cheered. Does this mean I am a bad person, or does it mean that Gigi just sucks? Now that Stacy is gone, I fear she is going to have to take the brunt of my hatred for awful characters. 

-  Why has no one mentioned River? It's always Cramer girls, girls, girls. No one is concerned about River, eh?

-  The French guy is kinda creepy.

-  I am SHOCKED at the way Kelly Cramer's return is going. I think it's a complete and utter DUD. First of all, this is NOT the Kelly Cramer I remember. The Kelly I remember was fiery, unpredictable, sassy, and vulnerable. She was very similar to Natalie, actually. This new adult Kelly comes across not only as spoiled, privileged, and shallow, but also as vapid. I am just dumbstruck so far by how much I am not liking her.

-  Thank GOD for these Viki/Dorian scenes. But usually in Viki/Dorian scenes, I am at least partially siding with Dorian. The writers have made that impossible now because, like Viki, I feel Dorian is just not thinking at all. That's not the Dorian I know.

-  Why is Kelly encouraging Adriana to get into the car with a strange, horny man? 

Tuesday, 2/16

-  Wow. One phone call from Dorian and everyone panics. Mitch directly threatened Cole and Starr and Hope weeks ago, and they did nothing. But since Dorian pushed the panic button, Cole is answering the door with a baseball bat? I don't get it.

-  I didn't know Langston was a ninja. She just super-kicked Ford in the head. He was naked, of course.

-  Stacy just fell in the ice! And I shouted, "Die, bitch, die!" It's about damn time.

-  Stacy didn't try to pull herself up onto the ice. I mean, she REALLY didn't try.  I have to ask: Did Stacy commit suicide???

-  I love how Clint just walked away from Dorian as she attempted to apologize.

-  They must have edited out some of the Clint/Brody brawl with the police.  Something was missing there. We went from Point A to Point C.

-  Wow, that ice sure is strange. It hold Rex and Fish's weight, but not Gigi's or Stacy's weight. And they each weigh about twelve pounds.

Wednesday, 2/17

-  This Paris storyline is already reminding me of Mendorra. It's so unrealistic and cartoonish. 

-  Paging River. Why is there no mention of River???

-  I didn't know David Fumero was still on the show. Maybe he heard Jessica was in high school again and thought they'd give him something to do. Poor Tika Sumpter!

-  This is such a lame re-entry for Gina Tognoni, fretting over Adriana. 

-  I am wondering if TPTB are pondering a real Dorian/Charlie/Viki triangle. 

-  Why is Dorian willing to freely admit to everything she's done in front of her girls if she wasn't willing to tell them the truth in the first place? She could have avoided all of this. I just don't understand!

-  The writers are failing to develop their two best new characters - Ford and Kim! Kim's relationship with Clint all but vanished the second she moved in.  WHERE is that storyline??? It was so promising, and it's been dumped. And we know Ford is a hot model man and wants to screw high schooler Langston, but we need to know MORE than that! Where is the character development???

-  Speaking of Ford and Kim, I'd like to see them paired up for a chemistry test.

-  I found the Marty/Brody scenes today very, very intriguing. There is something about the two of them together that I like very much.

-  So Cristian is magically now a teacher at Llanview High School? Just in time for Jessica to become a high school student again, eh? 

-  I'm unclear about who Ford is or what he wants or if he's bad or good, so I'm having a hard time caring about him either way.

-  Dorian just offered to pray with Charlie. I just don't think that's a Dorian thing at ALL. 

-  How absurd was that credit card company giving info to Kelly and David over the phone? That would NEVER happen!

 

Thursday, 2/18

-  OH NO! They didn't find Stacy's body!!! I don't like that one bit. You know what this means, right? She's going to turn up in a year or two as some mysterious girl in town (recast) with a strange interest in Sierra Rose.

-  Is it me or is Fish always, always WHINING?

-  How can Sky continue to lie to Gigi when his lies have already been so exposed? He's such an awful waste of a character. WHY did TPTB spoil this perfectly acceptable couple? I'm not saying Gigi/Sky lit my world up, but they worked and there was chemistry there. For two undeveloped, meaningless characters, this was a huge breakthrough and boon for TPTB. But now they've ruined them. And they've fired Daphne Duplaix, which probably means my Sky/Rachel idea is a no-go. So what do they think they're going to do with Sky now, and why do they think anyone will care? A Gigi/Rex reunion seems certain, and also seems certain to fail to entertain in any way.

-  Great scene with Brody telling Viki and Clint about the shock treatments.

-  I greatly enjoyed the Rex/Kim scenes. In fact, I will go on the record and say that if TPTB have a BRAIN in their heads, they would go forward with a Kim/Rex pairing. Continue to develop Kim/Clint, but have Stacy's death make Kim a little harder and more ruthless. Let's see her really try to be a gold-digger. She and Rex "hate" each other but find themselves having sex. This continues as a hot affair, one that they both wish to keep secret. Kim even sneaks Rex into the Buchanan mansion for trysts, nearly being caught by Renee and Nigel on many occasions.  Eventually they'll be caught and Clint can throw Kim out on her ass. I truly think Kim is the girl that could save Rex and turn him back into the bad boy we liked in the first place. This could have great complications for Rex/Gigi/Shane and Kim/Clint. I see great potential in Rex/Kim. And their soap couple name could be Rim, which is really dirty and suits them perfectly.

-  The baby looks like Stacy/Crystal Hunt, doesn't it?

-  Nice juxtaposition with various characters informing others about Stacy's death. Nice direction.

-  Amanda Setton did a good job when Kim found out Stacy was dead. It wasn't like, Emmy-worthy, but it was really good for a newer cast member.

-  Kelly kicking a thick wooden door down? Give me a break.

-  I never knew Adriana was so kinky! Dang.

-  Why has no one ever questioned how Mitch survived his last murder by Todd? 

-  Why has no one mentioned Miles Laurence even once?

-  I like that Kim is stuck with the secret that Fish is the father. 

-  These Rex/Kim scenes are so intense. I watched them twice because something really fascinated me with the two of them. I'm telling you, there is HUGE potential here.

Friday, 2/19

-  Why is Todd so rabidly concerned about Jessica all of the sudden? He hasn't had a scene with her in over a year! 

-  I HATE the Gigi/Sky scenes with the baby in the incubator. Gigi's grief feels forced and she is coming off as just wanting another baby for herself. Sky is rubbing me as just CREEPY now. He lies far too easily.

-  Wait. Jessica now refers to Mitch as "that horrible man" who "pretended to be my father." But the other day she was calling him "Father" very obediently and affectionately. This is all very confusing.

-  I can't believe I'm saying this, but I really liked the John/Marty scenes today, and the John/Natalie scenes weren't too bad either. But Natalie was being SO obviously seductive and wanting John. I thought she verged on obnoxious.  However, I was impressed by John's forcefulness with Marty and insistence they work things out. Susan Haskell played these scenes intriguingly... made me wonder if this supposed Marty pregnancy has already come to pass.

-  There are finally two major gay characters on the show, and what are they all about? Standing around and whining over a baby. Wow, how progressive.

-  Since when is Todd a reporter? It's been like ten years since he reported on something. Where is the consistency?

-  If Jessica thinks she is a senior in high school, then why isn't she asking, "Mom?  Why do you look so much older? Dad... who are you and what have you done with Clint Ritchie?" Seriously though, wouldn't Jessica notice that people look older? 

-  Who is going to break it to Jessica that Megan and Asa are dead? 

-  One thing I like about the Jessica memory thing is that it can tap into a lot of the show's history. Too bad they can't do Jessica/Cris flashbacks with the current actors. I really wish, instead of hiring day players, they would have just showed Erin Torpey/Yorlin Madera flashbacks. That would be neat. That's what was real and what we remember. Who cares if they look different; so will the day players!

-  LOL! I laughed so hard today at how crazy Jessica is (once again!).

-  All right, people, here's what needs to happen while Crazy Teen Jessica is pursuing Cristian: Brody needs to heavily bond with both Natalie and Marty, sneaking into the Jolie/Marty madness. It needs to happen. Brody and Natalie need to hook up when it's all said and done, even if it's just a one night stand, before Jessica regains her memory. THEN we can restart the Jessica/Natalie feud! Come on, TPTB, make this happen!

-  At first I thought the Bo/Shane scenes were boring, but by the end, they were really sweet. TPTB were wise to bond these two characters and also to put the young actor with Bob Woods. That's what you call on-the-job training. 

-  Fish is so freaking dumb. "Why would Stacy lie?" Are you KIDDING me? You call yourself a cop?

-  Why isn't Jessica asking Marty, "Are you a doctor or something? How do you know all of this about psychiatry?"

-  The Marty/Jessica scenes were awesome! Yay! I'm so happy Susan Haskell is finally getting interesting material again. Same for Bree Williamson.

-  Clint and Kim haven't even communicated in weeks. TPTB just dropped that like a cold turkey.

-  If TPTB want me to hate Sky, they've succeeded. But I also hate Gigi, and if Rex stays in this storyline, I'll probably end up hating him again, too. That's the only problem with killing off Stacy...now her title of Worst Character has to go to someone else.

-  Can someone please explain to me why Kim left her boots by the lake and walked the snow in her socks?

-  I desperately wanted them to show Stacy dead at the bottom of the lake.  You KNOW they are bringing that bitch back in a few years. MARK MY WORDS! 

"I have to agree with you, Dorian's brains must have fallen out. I cannot understand why she didn't just tell her girls from the beginning what was going on. I can understand Dorian feeling like it was her responsibility to take care of them, but her actions make no sense. She put them in even more danger by not warning them that Mitch was threatening them, leaving them sitting ducks to his plans! It especially doesn't make sense that she did not confide in Blair. Of all of her girls, Blair is the one that she seems to respect the most and would trust to help her come up with a plan. The whole thing is ludicrously stupid."  - Krista

I know, I know! When Dorian was explaining things this week, I just couldn't believe the holes in the writing. Why weren't Blair and the other Cramers asking her why she didn't tell them the truth earlier rather than do so many stupid, horrible things first? The writing just sucked for this.   

"Bravo, Jeremy. Wish it were different but your column today is spot on. I share your anger at the destruction of the show that I've loved for 30 years. At this rate, the show will not be on much longer. The unifying theme is that the show uses very simple, poorly constructed, one dimensional storytelling that relies almost entirely on plot, i.e. Dorian stupidly enlists Charlie as the assassin so that he can accidentally shoot Jessica thereby leading to conflict with Viki.  Mitch arrived with a bang and seemed to invigorate the screen then he succumbed to the show's cartoonish simplicity. He really didn't involve many characters and seems to have almost no minions. Even if some are revealed later, TPTB waited too long. Langston's one dimensional and boring obsession with Ford would be so much better if we saw hints that he was a minion or at least had some really big manipulative agenda. Otherwise, really, he's sexually obsessed with twitty Langston who's in a fit of "desire"? Why hasn't Todd been involved in the Mitch story instead of repetitively, as you pointed out, whining over Tea and Dani?  This trio is completely ruined for me. Todd is just not the character he once was. I ff most of his scenes. Truly sad. I used to post alot around the net but I've lost my motivation. The show seems only to get worse rather than more interesting. I have often seen posts suggesting that a variety of minor characters like Markko, Sky, Greg, Destiny, etc be axed. I've wondered though whether the show needs a major reboot. Remove Todd, or Rex/Gigi (my personal choice) or John McBain and then restructure. The minor characters get so little story that I don't see them as the problem. The show needs a very major overhaul. The should talk to Bob Guza. GH is stunningly excellent when compared to OLTL. Something that's very sad to say."  - Joanne

I do get the feeling that OLTL needs a major change. I have mixed feelings about Valentini/Carlivati. Normally I would be calling for their dismissals by now because of their ugly destruction of Dorian, Blair, Todd, Starr, Rex, and now Tea, and this insipid obsession with babies that alienates viewers like myself.  However, I have to give credit for the brilliant rapemance story as well as Bess/Tess and the baby switch. The problem is, it's been a long time since then.  There have been too many gargantuan failures (Carlo, Tina, Mendorra, 1968, Stacy, Gigi, The Evans', the mayoral race). The scales are tipping out of favor for Valentini and Carlivati. They need to take action and shift gears and take risks. I could write pages and pages of ideas for how they could turn the show around, but I do think they need to cut their losses with characters that do not work. The problem is, I don't think they realize which characters are not working. They seem to think very highly of Gigi. For me, she epitomizes everything that is WRONG with OLTL. Gigi is 100% plot and 0% character. From day one, she is just plot, plot, plot. Who's her baby daddy? Who's Stacy's baby daddy? Will she give up Rex to save Shane? Gigi herself is utterly a blank page of paper, and a very boring one at that.

I would get rid of Gigi and certainly Schuyler, who is yet another soulless, nondescript character. Why, why, why to TPTB think that if they hire a talented or experienced actor, they don't have to develop the character?  At this point, I'd say over half of the cast is expendable because they are playing useless characters. If Starr were run over by a truck, I would not even care. This is truly shameful, because I watched her grow up and she was always one of my favorite characters. TPTB have destroyed her and done the same to so many others by forcing them out of character and into absurd plots which contradicted their essences. A new writer or producer who really understands the show needs to come in and a) clean house with actors and characters who do not really enhance the show... people like Gigi and Schuyler, and b) save the actors and characters who have been destroyed by coming up with drastic storylines that get Starr, Todd, Blair, Dorian, Rex, and other core characters back to who they really are. It would be a huge undertaking but at this point it's absolutely what the show needs. 

"So if I were writing Oltl, Stacy when she falls through the ice would not die, but wind up in the ruins of Eterna and stay there for about a year -just long enough for Fish, Rex, Gigi, Sky, and everyone to get their lives back to normal.  Stacy would give birth to triplets - one Rex's, one Fish's, and one Sky's."  - Allen

Okay, I think James Reilly is emailing me from the great beyond here, LOL. But I have to say that the fact that they did not find Stacy's body fills me with dread and almost begs for a sci-fi storyline. All I have to say is if any mysterious girls pop up on the show in the next year or two, I'm going to immediately suspect they are Stacy with plastic surgery. If you think about it, bringing Stacy back down the line after Sierra's custody is settled, would be great drama. And you get the added benefit of recasting the role. But as I've said already, I'd like this entire set of characters, especially Gigi and Schuyler, off the show. They are just modeling scripts and have no actual characters to play or anything beyond their own talent to add to the show. It's the writers fault, but what's done is done. Gigi's ONLY character trait is that she is a mom! 

"As always, enjoyed your column this week. Here are my thoughts on a Jolie reunion – makes me want to hurl! The Kim and Marty scenes last week were really interesting and I think those two should end up BFFs. Kim can bring out Marty’s “bad girl” side again and the two of them can plot revenge on John and Natalie. I can just see Kim seducing John and Marty making sure that Natalie walks in on them. That would be about the only way I’d be interested in watching another Jolie storyline."  - Cindy

I love this. I would love to see Marty's bad side come out again. And the Kim/Natalie feud has to really get jumpstarted. Kim started to gain SO MUCH potential and then the writers dropped all of it to tell the Stacy story. Such a mistake. 

That's it for this week.  Please send your OLTL thoughts, complaints, suggestions, and desperate pleas to:

Robert Iger, President of Disney
(ABC Parent Company)
robert.a.iger@disney.com

Anne Sweeney,
President of Disney-ABC 
anne.x.sweeney@abc.com.

Brian Frons,
ABC Daytime President
500 S. Buena Vista St.
Burbank, CA 91521-4551
Brian.Frons@abc.com

Frank Valentini
(Executive Producer)
C/O One Life to Live
ABC Daytime
77 West 66th Street
New York, NY 10023
frank.valentini@abc.com

Ron Carlivati
(Head Writer)C/O One Life to LiveABC Daytime
77 West 66th Street
New York, NY 10023
ron.carlivati@abc.com

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