My mail box was flooded this week with mail about Kish, Stacy, and other controversial topics related to OLTL. 

Monday, 8/17:  "THE WHO TO DO LIST"

-  The Stacy/Kim dialogue is nauseating. I guess ABC is finally making good on its constant threats to make the daytime soaps "more like Gossip Girl." Well, guess what? I don't watch Gossip Girl, nor do I want to.

-  Kim: "Go put on your hot dress and high heels and get yourself knocked up!"  People this stupid do not deserve to live. Quick, before some little girl accidentally turns the show on during one of these scenes, can Stacy and Kim immediately be signed up to be in the wrong place at the wrong time when things go sour in the Cole undercover storyline? Meaning, can their heads be blown off? I mean it. I am too intelligent to invest in a show that stars such atrocious characters. To allow these girls air time when Tony Award-winning Patricia Elliot is sequestered in the Buchanan attic is a friggin' crime. 

-  I do not at all like the way Rex is speaking to his mother today. We all know Roxy was a crappy mother and has been lying to Rex about his dad, but who the hell does Rex think he is to get holier-than-thou on her? He certainly has taken after her in the lying department. Question for the writers: You've already ruined Rex, so why are you now alienating him from the one character besides Bo who actually can make us enjoy him again (while in the process, highlighting what a jerk he's become)? Dumb, I say.

-  Thank you, Blair, for actually mentioning the possibility of people being bisexual.  Maybe you should try it because girl, you are in storyline and character HELL.

-  Cris can't imagine kissing a man. Blair can't imagine him kissing a man either.  Hmm, I guess it's just me then.

-  That whore, Kim again: "I hate people in recovery." Wow. That's one of the most evil lines I've ever heard on a soap. But it is kind of funny as well.

-  If Rex is such a P.I. (oh puh-lease, don't make me laugh!!!), then why hasn't he investigated the identity of his father? Why does he keep asking Roxy to tell him when he hasn't lifted a finger to dig around? He'll dig around on Tea's past but not on his own past? Another bird brain.

-  Between Rex, Gigi, Jessica, Stacy, Kim, Starr, and Blair, I think the show needs to change its name to Dumb Asses On Parade. 

-  Oh my gosh, I did have to laugh when Stacy thought Fish's name was actually Tuna! I can't seriously be expected to take a character named Fish seriously. I hate fish, so whenever I see Oliver I associate him with fish. Maybe that is why I'm having a hard time liking him. Or maybe he's just a crashing bore. 

-  After Rex told Roxy she is out of his life from now on, my hatred for him accelerated to an entirely new level.  I, Jeremy of Chicago, now officially HATE Rex Balsom.  This is unfortunate because I once quite loved him.  As far as I'm concerned, I hope the character is killed off.  Although that would be bad for Roxy, so I take that back.  I hope he is hit by a car and put into a long coma, after which he has no memory of his former life.  That's really the only hope for the character at this point.  Time to pull a Jason Morgan on his ass and save this character before I reach into the screen and murder him myself! 

-  Give me a break!  Fish is holding hands with Kyle in PUBLIC!  I thought he was supposed to be closeted and scared or whatever. 

Tuesday, 8/18:  "TO WALK, PERCHANCE TO DREAM"

-  Can anyone explain to me why Stacy has not yet realized that she is going to have to have a paternity test, probably verified by independent labs (oh never mind, Gigi and Rex aren't smart enough to do that)? 

-  What's with all of the unnecessary Matthew flashbacks during the courtroom scenes? They could have given Eddie Alderson some new material instead of re-airing all of those flashes of what happened to Matt after the accident. 

-  Kim epitomizes the soullessness of today's entertainment industry and society itself, as does Stacy. But at least Kim is animated and seems to have left some of her original parts intact. Why didn't TPTB cast this girl as Stacy? In fact, her presence on the show really brings into focus what a terrible miscast Crystal Hunt is. Maybe the Stacy story/character could have worked with a better actress. I doubt it - but maybe.

-  Why hasn't Blair guessed Tea's secret? A secret child is the first thing that would pop into my head if I were Blair. Then again, if I were Blair, I would be pretty stupid and probably wouldn't think of something like that. Oye.

-  Hold on just a minute, writers. At Matthew's trial we learn that he was the "MVP" on one of his athletics teams, a "star" athlete at school... hmmm. Really? Then why was he being bullied by everyone in the school except for Destiny, well before his accident? Star athletes are not bullied - they are the ones doing the bullying, if anything. Sloppy, sloppy writing.

-  I'm liking Rachel and Greg. I saw a poll recently that said something like 75% of the people wanted Rachel with Shaun. That's just crazy talk. Rachel and Shaun together is the romantic equivalent of eating Spaghetti O's for lunch - BORING and STALE! Rachel and Greg are what soap couples are supposed to be made of. They have spark, chemistry, and a huge amount of sexual tension. Most importantly, they become more interesting when they're together than they are apart. I loved when Greg told Rachel off last week and psychoanalyzed her successfully. This week, Rachel turned the tables and correctly called Greg out on his b.s.  You see?  This is the beginning of a fine romance. I bet their first time having sex will be more like hate sex, when their arguing just cannot sustain itself anymore. That's hot.

-  How can Nora, of all people, allow herself to have a courtroom outburst?  Immature.

-  Ewwwwwwwwww. That is all I have to say about Blair throwing herself at Todd today like a common slut. She is so pathetic right now that it's actually creepy.  Where is the Blair of old? That Blair would find this Blair a sad creature indeed. 

-  So, Stacy is willing to have unprotected sex with someone she doesn't know, or her druggie ex, any of whom could have HIV or any other disease. She could end up giving birth to an infected baby and then being sick or have some disease for the rest of her life. How does that factor into her plans to be "happy with Rex?" And seriously, why isn't she going to a sperm bank?  That's where the good sperm is, ya dumb bitch! You don't just get a sperm donation from anyone off the street! Oh, how I long for someone to pull out a rifle and blast Stacy's head off.  Clint, are you busy?

-  How dare Fish go up to strangers and tell them about Kyle's legal troubles? 

-  Todd to Blair: "Get a life." AMEN, BROTHER!!!

Wednesday, 8/19:  "THE REAL BUCHANANS OF LLANTANO COUNTY"

-  Why does everything in this area of Pennsylvania have a double 'l'?  Llantano.  Llanview. Llanfair. It's weird, isn't it?

-  David and Nigel.. oh, this is going to be good.

-  Oh no.  I am shaking my head in disbelief, outrage, and sadness. Following in Rex's footsteps as a character I once loved but now hate, is Starr Manning. I swear this girl's brain must have gotten out while she was giving birth to Hope. Her brain is gone. She loves bird-brained Cole so much that she has absolutely no cares or life outside of him and their unfortunate spawn. Now, she casually states that she does not care if she goes back to high school or ever gets a diploma. For shame! This show seriously is NOT something I would ever let my daughter watch. It has some of the worst female role models on all of television - and that's really saying a lot.  If I didn't know better, I'd say the people in charge of the show HATE women. I am embarrassed for Starr. She has no ambition, no drive, no passion... outside of dumb-as-rocks Cole. Oye.

-  But Langston (or is that Llangston?) is just as dumb. Sure, she is appalled that Starr would not finish high school - but her reasoning is completely wrong.  She thinks Starr should finish school so that she can "take care of herself" and her baby. Um... Langston?  Starr is a multi-millionaire. Surely you know that, since you are now living off her family's riches as well. I had to roll my eyes at Langston when she made some comment about relying on "handouts." Hello, "Lang" - your entire existence is a hand out.

-  So much hilarity going on with David today! What a great inside joke about "on-screen titles." Love it.

-  Destiny needs to sit down and zip it. Another dumb ass in the making. What kind of 12-year old (how old is she supposed to be, anyway?) interrupts courtroom proceedings and starts yelling, thinking this will somehow help things out? That was just unnecessary.

-  More dumb asses: Brody and Jessica agree that she is being stalked by a real person...yet they tell no one. They don't tell Viki or anyone else living with Jessica, even though they could very well be in mortal danger. They don't tell Bo or the police. They are STUPID.

-  I hate so much how Starr has become a one-track, needy creature. She has no identity outside of Cole. She is definitely taking after her mother. There are no signs of Todd left in this girl. And that's actually tragic. She's like a sterilized version of Blair:  Stand by your man no matter what, only the nice girl version. Zzzzzzzzzzz.  You know who Starr is starting to remind me of? Marty. 

-  David, into the camera: "So it's brother against brother for the love of a single woman - the same woman who once married a gay serial killer. The serial killer was gay, not the victim. Was that clear? Should I rephrase that?" Oh my, Tuc. You are hilarious.

-  Oh no. More stupidity! Why are the characters being written so STUPIDLY??? The window whips open and Jessica stands and shouts: "Nash!?  Is that you???" Does she think she is going to actually hear a ghost talking? I want to punch her in the face. Bring back her alters because Jessica is both boring AND tragically stupid.

Thursday, 8/20: "THE GHOST IS CLEAR"

-  Nice to see Schuyler doing his job. He's one of the few characters who actually has a job. 

-  Oh gawd. I have no idea how Kim supposedly sent Cris and Layla untraceable texts or any of that mess...I don't even want to know. So nonsensical. 

  Kyle is a horrible date! He brings Nick to Rodi's and then talks about his ex the whole time? How disappointing. Kyle/Nick is interesting, though.

-I hate that Kyle is just using Nick to pass the time and doesn't really seem interested in him, though.

-  Bravo to the writers for using David's reality show as a way to take jabs at the state of the industry. 

-  David went way too far with Nora, though. Calling her out for having a "half-black" daughter with a history of drug problems, being a reformed Jew, and having a "handicapped" son.... yes, it's funny coming from Tuc Watkins but it's still kind of racist.

-  A more developed Matthew/David relationship could be the saving grace of Ron Carlivati's terrible blunder in making David Bo's son.

-  I love the reveal that David is paying Matt's legal bills!  I didn't see that coming.  Does this mean we'll get some Tea/David scenes?  Please???

-  David's casting of the Buchanan movie was riotous! Zac Effrom as Matthew, LOL!  The deceased Steve McQueen as Clint! Jack Nicholson as Bo! Then saying Nora isn't a necessary character, followed by Nora strangling David. I feel like I'm watching the Quartermaines circa 1990. I love it!

-  I'm surprised Brody voiced his suspicion about Nash's parents being the stalker(s). That means two things. One, Brody is actually halfway intelligent, which is shocking considering the company he keeps. Two, Nash's parents are probably not involved.   I doubt TPTB would throw their names out there if they were the culprits. And yes, I do hear there is more than one stalker. Hmmm...  I'm still holding out hope for Mitch and Allison, though it doesn't really make sense. 

-  I'm terribly confused about Stacy and Kim's plan for her to get pregnant. How does Stacy think she would have sex with Fish and then people wouldn't find out about it? Doesn't she think that sleeping with someone connected to Rex and Gigi, or even someone in town for that matter, is going to get back to Rex? Doesn't she worry about her actions arousing Rex's suspicion? And how again is she going to get around the paternity test(s)? Why has this not been brought up? Also, is she still in love with Rex? She has no problem screwing other guys? No guilt? Then are we to presume she would not be faithful to Rex even if they were together? What exactly is the deal here?  I find the writing incredibly muddied.

-  Who is dumber, Stacy or Jessica? Jessica needs a psychic to tell her that she's in danger, after she already knows she is being stalked? She doesn't have time to tell her family or the police that she's being stalked, but she does have time (and money) to go see Madame Delphina? I hope she didn't pay her too much.  Dumb ass.

-  Are you telling me that Fish is gay and he's never been attracted to Cristian, his Calvin Klein model of a roommate? Cris never felt that energy or noticed Fish checking him out? I'm not buying that. 

-  Natalie, upon seeing Kim and Stacy: "Wow. I didn't know John was letting hookers in here." Um, Natalie just became my favorite character again. More of Natalie being a bitch, please!

-  The teaser of Schuyler almost falling off the wagon made me kind of wish he would. I want to see what Scott Clifton can do. Come to think of it, I wouldn't mind Rachel smoking crack again. Maybe Rachel and Schuyler can become druggies for a few months and wreak a little havoc in their boring lives?

-  I swear, without Brody to piece everything together for her, Jessica would be utterly clueless.  Maybe now she will FINALLY realize that the person stalking her is not a ghost.  By the way, who is raising Bree?  Lois? 

 

Friday, 8/21:  "PHYSICIAN, HEAL THYSELF"

-  John and Marty are talking about Pirates of the Caribbean. John has brought Marty the typically romantic gift of a child's lunch box. And now I need Marty to open up the lunch box so that I can vomit into it. John McBain is the WORST. And that product placement and intrusion into dialogue by ABC was hideous. 

-  The Blair/Dorian scenes pissed me off today. Excuse me, but Dorian has better things to do than listen to Blair's hopeless delusions. Blair is a joke right now, and none of the Cramer women have lives. They're turning into Stepford drones. I think the writing staff needs some WOMEN on it. Stat.

-  But Viki is getting a storyline? Great!!! Is Erika Slezak not going on vacation this year? I'm confused, but not complaining.

-  I love seeing Bad Ass Viki. It's been awhile since we've seen her.

-  Of course on Marty's first day back as a therapist, Todd is her first patient. I'll overlook the absurdity of Marty not having seen a list of her patients beforehand, because Marty-as-Todd's-therapist has been needing to happen for a long time. I'd say it was my idea, but I think it's probably too obviously juicy for me to claim the writers stole it. Hopefully, they'd be able to think of something so obvious on their own.  Now they better not screw it up. Marty/Todd therapy needs to "go there."

-  What does Ross want from Tea? And why are they making him out to be evil?  Ross was never evil. I liked Ross. He was nothing compared to Todd. I guess he's a "bad guy" now? I'm trying to figure out the scenario here...if Tea had a daughter, and Ross is raising her, then what does Ross want from Tea? Is it possible Tea had a baby and gave it up or even sold it on the black market, and Ross is trying to find the daughter because he believes the child is his? 

  Once again I'm on Gigi's side against Rex. He IS being a pussy with Stacy, pardon my French.

-  The Mayor Lowell speech was SO over the top.  Give me a break.

**MAIL REPORT**

"Normally I agree with your columns, but I have to say I was irked by your recent comments about Kish. First, I find it insulting that you would say that the gay press is only praising Kish because it's a gay story. I can't speak for every journalist, but I think a few have a bit more integrity than that. Moreover, I've seen articles slamming other gay soap stories because they were poorly written. As a gay soap fan I will call bullshit on the other horrible gay stories out now (ATWT's Nuke and Y&R's Rafe/Adam/Phillip). On the other hand, I like Kish because it's well written, well acted, and engaging. If it sucked I'd say so. "Gay" doesn't get a free pass for me. Second, I think it's ridiculous to say that because you've been watching soaps for a long time you're an authority on chemistry. You may not have meant it to come across that way but that's how it sounded. I've been watching OLTL for 20 years and I think Kyle and Oliver have chemistry. We have a difference of opinion, which is fine. Chemistry is very subjective. Third, I don't see how you're saying that Oliver isn't gay just because he slept with women. Many gay men have slept with women, but still identify as gay. Sexuality is fluid. Oliver desperately wants to be straight to please his family/friends/society, so that would be a huge motivator for him to sleep with Layla and Stacey. In his mind he has to be straight, so he got it up. A character could do anything if given the right motivation. Lastly, I agree that it would be great to see something beyond the typical coming out story.  But, this is Kish's first story. I honestly believe Ron Carlivati and Frank Valentini have more planned for these guys. And I think we've come a long way from Billy Douglas' coming out.  That was an amazing storyline, for its time, and Kish has the same potential. I'm really excited for what will come next."  - GA

I don't think the gay press is ONLY praising Kish because many of them are gay men, but I do think they are overreacting. There have been some highly exaggerated comments made about "Emmy-worthy" this and that. Not so fast, I say. I think it is a ballsy storyline, I just think it is difficult to swallow watching a clearly straight character be turned gay just to suit a storyline. Fish was not gay six months ago. He was not gay when he stalked Stacy and screwed her silly.  That was for no one's benefit but his own. The writers changed recent history and I don't think they did so believably...I don't consider myself THE authority on chemistry, but I definitely know it when I see it. Of course, chemistry is in the eye of the beholder - some people thought John and Natalie had chemistry, God help them. My opinion is that Kyle and Fish do not have the type of chemistry that makes a great soap couple, though I've seen worse (Cristian and Evangeline, cough). I'd rather watch Kish than John/Marty any day. But the Kish kiss was bad.  It was not sexy, not hot, and void of chemistry.  It was rough, awkward, and angry...I do agree that sexuality is fluid, which is why I don't understand TPTB's refusal to let characters be bisexual. Fish seems bisexual to me, not gay. But whatever, we know he "is" gay now, to suit the storyline, but I'm just having a hard time suspending disbelief. I hate being manipulated by the writers. I think they manipulated us a bit to tell a gay storyline. They could have done a bisexual love triangle or done a gay romance with other characters like CJ Roberts. I'd rather see a character explore an unexpected same-sex attraction (say, Schuyler and Rex or Blair and Tea or Cris and Kyle) without having to be "gay" or suddenly have their previous character's life manipulated to make them "gay." I think the Kish story is trying to say that sexuality is not fluid, when in fact, it often is.. I do agree that TPTB probably have another story planned for Kish once they get together - most likely it will involve gay marriage and adoption rights/issues.  But Kyle and Fish will be pigeonholed and limited as "the gay couple," rather than FLUID and available to mingle with others in the cast. They'll be telling gay storylines rather than general storylines that happen to involve gay or bisexual characters. I don't want to minimize the importance of what OLTL is trying to do with Kish, I just wish we could move beyond "gay characters" and "gay storylines." It's like black characters only doing stories about racism. We should be way past that.  I've said it before - all or most characters should be bisexual. Then sexuality is not an issue and you have endless options for stories. 

"I think you are right on the money with this one. Why does Fish have to be gay? I messed around with a girl in a bathroom when I was in my very late teens... does that mean that I have been straight all this time?  No, it was some drunken experimentation. I think Kyle could almost be considered a stalker at this point. I think it is wonderful that gays are being portrayed in soaps, but you're right, can't they just show us as we are... boring middle aged HR Managers?"  -  Warren

 Do you mean to suggest that Clint is gay? Just kidding. I knew a lot of my readers would disagree with me about Kish, but I was surprised by how many agreed as well. Warren makes a good point, too, that Kyle's recent actions toward Fish could border on stalking. But then for sure we could say that Schuyler has been stalking Gigi, Stacy was stalking Rex for months, Destiny is stalking Matthew, and Cris Vega sure the hell is stalking Kyle. I guess when it comes to soaps, stalking is par for the course - it's not just a gay thing. 

"Sorry but I disagree with our latest column. Fish is GAY. If Fish was bi he would be more open about it, and gay men can and do have sex with women. Being gay is not about just sex but also the emotional connection as in straight relationships. I also found the dialogue inspiring. OLTL is writing Kish just like an of their other couples. The Kiss was not forced it was Kyle reminding Oliver of what the had. Claywell & Evans have amazing chemistry. They truly make me feel the love that Kyle & Oliver still have for each other."  -  John

I'm actually glad people like Kish. I don't want to make anyone else not like the story. And just to be clear, I don't hate it. But aspects of the writing and acting bother me. I think a lot of people will respond to this storyline partially based on their own experiences and identity. Personally, I have never subscribed to sexual labels and I think this society forces an unnecessary identity on people who veer from the standard man-and-woman sexuality. But the truth is that across time, societies and cultures have had incredibly varied views on sexuality. Our current society is obsessed with labeling people and categorizing behavior. This is why so many bisexual men stay on the "down low," because their behavior would force them to adopt an unwanted identity (it would make them "gay" and somehow change their lifestyle or image or jeopardize their families). Believe me - bisexual men are often the most closeted of all. They are not automatically open about it.  Many bisexual men are married and don't explore their bisexual side until they are older and frankly, bored with marriage. Some married men feel they can have sex with other men and it's not even cheating! I know this probably shocks some of you, but it does happen. In other societies like Ancient Greece and Rome, these men would have no problem expressing their bisexuality without it affecting their social status, family, or lives in any negative way. They did not even have a word in their ancient languages for "bisexual," because it was just assumed that everyone was so. Sexual behavior did not dictate social identity as it now does.  Most societies, and certainly ours, do not accommodate everyone's sexuality.  Bisexuality is often not taken seriously by either the straight or gay communities.  Just as some bisexual men who live "straight" identities hide their bisexuality, so do those who live "gay" identities - because the gay community scoffs at bisexuality.  The idea is, if you are bisexual then you are gay - end of story. Women have it differently because their bisexuality titillates in most cases, rather than threatens.  In some cultures today, such as in the Latin American world, "straight" men are allowed to have gay sex so long as they are acting like the man and not being submissive. They retain their "straight" identities while the men "servicing" them are not only considered gay, but they're completely emasculated and considered "girls." Can you imagine in our society, if all men were allowed to have sex with other men so long as they were the "top?" I don't think too many women would put up with that! 

Obviously the writers are going to have Fish "come out" and be "gay." I am asking, why? He seems to enjoy having sex with women. He banged Stacy Morasco with no witnesses or anyone around to know about it. He did it for his own pleasure, not to uphold any sort of image (but that was before the writers decided he was gay... too bad!).  He didn't have a problem becoming aroused with Layla. We didn't see him take Viagra beforehand so that he could keep it up with her.  Layla seemed very satisfied indeed with their sex, implying that it was not a "wham-bam" situation. I imagine a gay man would want to "get it over with," not focus on pleasing the woman. It's clear that Fish has an emotional attachment to Kyle that he is trying to suppress. He is afraid of his identity changing. The problem I have with the story is, why should Fish have to change his identity? Everyone is trying to force him to become "gay," without even exploring the option or asking him if he also likes girls. He's sleeping with more girls than Cris Vega is, and no one's asking Cris if he's gay! I would have liked to hear Fish say, "Hey you know what? Kyle is my ex-lover, and I still care about him, but that's not what I want in my life right now. I want Layla." Or maybe he could say, "I'd like to be with Layla AND Kyle - I'm confused." But for all of Fish's actions of the past year to turn out to be lies, makes him wholly unlikable and cowardly. Even worse, the writers are simply manipulating recent history to tell a PSA storyline and I really, really hate that sh*t! TPTB missed the boat by not allowing this to be a story about a bisexual love triangle. Instead, they are painting a gay character as a phony and a liar - just like they did with Daniel Coulson.  Fish is getting caught in his lies just like Coulson was.  Another commonality between Coulson and Fish: They were never interesting characters until their "gayness" was exposed. Fish just isn't a great character, I'm sorry to say.     

"I thought I was the only one who thought that the KISH KISS (say THAT 5 times fast) was lame as hell!! I thought it was awkward and uncomfortable...while everyone else was like "oh, hot hot hot...." So I'm glad to see that someone else thought it was crap!! I was SO not impressed.... I felt tense and awkward watching it.  I shouldn't feel that way at all in a love story!! I should be sitting there, moving closer to the TV, ready to burst with excitement when they finally do kiss (like Todd and Vangie all those years ago....) So, I say it again, THANK YOU!!! And I'm not buying any of Scott Evans' acting through any of this so far... He is weak and needs to be rid of immediately!! Seriously....they get rid of Kevin cause the "viewers lost interest" or whatever, but they'll keep Fish?!  PUH-LEEZE!!"  - Jen

Well, I have been hesitant to slam Evans for his acting, but I have to agree that he is not the strongest. He did the goofy Spinelli rip-off well when Fish was straight, but guess what? Spinelli is annoying and so was OLTL's geeky counterpart, Fish.  Now that he's lost all of his goofy "charm" and become a sad sap of a closeted gay man, he's got to be held up to the same standards as other soap men. As far as OLTL's cast goes, I don't think he's an asset. I hate saying that, but it's true. Jen is right - when you look at some of the actors they've fired, like Dan Gauthier (the best Kevin of all time), and the core characters they've booted from the show (Kevin, Kelly, Joey), I think it's fair to criticize those getting the most airtime and be honest in our feedback. I just don't get Fish's appeal. He also has the worst name ever given to a soap character. Worse than Schuyler, even. 

"Stacy is just about the most abhorrent storyline ever...I am going to write to TPTB about her. How they would rather write for her than the rest of the talented cast... absurd! I am getting a kick out of how stupid her and her friend are, but have hopes that this is what will get her killed or have her move back to Vegas. I too, laughed at her losing the baby."  - Steven

Oh my gosh, Stacy and Kim are so freakin' stupid - they almost make Jessica look intelligent. I so wish this story was about to wrap up with a very violent, gruesome death for Stacy (where is Daniel Coulson when you really need him?) - but I fear it is just the beginning. She will wind up pregnant again and has been added to the opening of the show. Personally, I would be okay with the equally slutty and soulless Kim sticking around if Stacy could be killed off in her place. Kim is the exact same as Stacy, only more entertaining. Stacy is simply unwatchable. There is zero appeal.   

"I LOVE your column and I look forward to it every week!  I have to put in a plug for Todd and Tea! It's hard to deny the chemistry between Florencia Lozano & Trevor St. John and I truly hope TPTB aren't just setting up another Todd/Blair 2000th reunion.  SJ's comedic timing has never been better because he's playing off of FL.  Do you have any thoughts on FL's contract or if Tea's secret will lead to Todd back with Blair??  ICK.-  Renee

As far as I understand, Florencia Lozano does not have a contract. I hear she is on the show through next spring at least, but will not be around to tape the show all the time because she will be working on other projects. So it's possible we'll see Tea leave town at some point before Spring, but she'll be back. The way I look at Tea's secret is that it will cause major problems for her relationship with Todd.  However, I have a REALLY hard time imagining Todd and Blair back together. Blair is just... pathetic. Todd would have to really hate himself to take her seriously as a relationship partner again. Blair will cause damage but think about it...Todd and Tea have a child together. Don't you think, in the long run, that will bring them even closer together?  The biggest problem with this triangle is that it doesn't feel like a triangle. Todd had sex with Blair a couple weeks ago, and is pretty much over it. I think he views Blair as a sex object, and he respects Tea.  Personally I don't think Todd is in love with Tea. Marty is the only woman he has ever been in love with.  He loves both Blair and Tea, but he's not in love with them.  He wants to make Tea happy and become a better person through their relationship. He views Tea as his redemption, and he views Blair as his lower self. Even though his love for Marty is stronger, that relationship was obviously not based in reality. His relationship with Tea seems like the first healthy one he's ever had, so he is very invested in it because it makes him feel better about himself. In a weird way, I think he's using Tea. But who cares? They make each other happy. But Tea has created an illusion of a "different" Todd. What she fails to understand is that this new and "different" Todd is different because of the way he thinks and feels about her - not because he is turning into a different person.  When her lie is exposed, that may change. Even so, I don't see Todd and Blair romantically together ever again - though since Florencia is not on contract, TPTB will always view Todd/Blair as an option to fall back on. 

"Even though I agree with you about the definition of rape, I don't see the Todd/Marty situation as black and white. The reason I lean towards what Todd did as rape is because I don't think that relationship would have happened if Marty was aware of what Todd did to her. Had the initial intent been to tell a story of a woman knowingly falling in love with her rapist because love is just that powerful, it would have been written to have Todd be honest with her about what he did. Clearly, the point of the whole amnesia s/l was to allow the writer to go in a direction he could not go if Marty was herself with her memory intact. Writing in her amnesia allowed them to maintain her integrity as a character because the whole sordid thing was laid at Todd's feet and it let them off the hook since viewers aren't supposed to see the awful truth in the writing as opposed to believe the characters are real and doing all this on their own...Realistically, if I had been raped and years later lost my memory, was found by my rapist who manipulated my amnesia and isolated me so that I was dependent on him and fell in love with me, then I believe I would see the whole thing as rape on a variety of levels. The fact that Todd resisted her means nothing because he was the only one in the room with all the facts. He took advantage of her vulnerability and placed her in a position where she was dependent on him and most likely to fall in love with him. I don't see her as any type of seductress since she was basically a hostage with no memory. I don't even see how you equate Rex lying to Gigi with Todd not telling an amnesiac that he had raped her. It's not even close to being the same sort of lie as the normal deceitful kind. Not telling your girlfriend that you slept with her sister is not the same as not telling an amnesiac that you were her rapist. If all Todd did was use her amnesia to keep her hostage while he played with her emotions, that would be cruel but not on the level of becoming romantic with a woman who doesn't know he raped her."  - Justine

Justine makes a good point and makes it very well. I still do not consider what Todd did to Marty RAPE, though. Emotional rape, sure. But emotional rape is not the same as actual rape. I keep coming back to comparing this situation with the recent Rex/Gigi stuff, which I know seems a bit unfair in terms of the gravity of what Todd and Rex did, comparatively. However, when Rex slept with Gigi without telling her about his UNPROTECTED sex with Stacy, he actually put Gigi's life at risk since Stacy could have HIV.  She probably has genital warts or herpes at the least. Not that Gigi seemed concerned (she is about as smart as a rock, after all) - and not that soaps take sexual risk very seriously. Even so, I think if Todd "raped" Marty last summer, then Rex attempted to "murder" Gigi a few weeks ago. When comparing emotional crimes with actual crimes, Todd and Rex's deceptions fall into the gray, subjective arena. The gravity of their reprehensibility is open to interpretation. What is worse - to make love to someone who you didn't know raped you many years ago, or make love to someone who is having unprotected sex with strippers? 

I think different people would give different answers based on their preferences. In no way am I trying to say what Todd did to Marty was easily forgivable - or forgivable at all. Unfortunately though, Todd is the only character Marty has any chemistry with as far as I'm concerned, and the way the writers abandoned their storyline has left me wondering why Susan Haskell was brought back in the first place. Clearly, her talents are being wasted.

"I also had a huge problem with the wedding. I was thrilled that Viki and Charlie were married because she deserves it, and both brides looked beautiful. The bridesmaids' dresses looked like they really needed a good ironing. But where were the guests? I mean why couldn't they have more characters come to the wedding?  I'm not saying past characters. I'm sure Roxy and Marty would have wanted to be there for Viki. Renee was the one who pushed them to have a double wedding but she was a no-show. What about Nigel, Carlotta and so many others who could have come? I just thought it was really sad when the only people who really showed up were newbie's like Destiny and her brothers. Todd and Tea were like the only ones there for Viki and Charlie."  -  Sean

I know. Viki and Charlie got shafted by the double wedding, but everyone (especially us fans) got shafted by the penny-pinching TPTB. I would love to hear Ron Carlivati explain what Nigel and Renee were doing during this wedding. There is no chance in hell Renee would have missed it. The entire cast should have been there, really.

That's it for this week.  Please send your OLTL thoughts, complaints, suggestions, and desperate pleas to:

Robert Iger, President of Disney (ABC Parent Company)
robert.a.iger@disney.com

Anne Sweeney, President of Disney-ABC
anne.x.sweeney@abc.com

Brian Frons, ABC Daytime President
500 S. Buena Vista St.
Burbank, CA 91521-4551
Brian.Frons@abc.com

Frank Valentini (Executive Producer)
C/O One Life to Live ABC Daytime
77 West 66th Street
New York, NY 10023
frank.valentini@abc.com

Ron Carlivati (Head Writer)
C/O One Life to Live ABC Daytime
77 West 66th Street
New York, NY 10023
rcarlivati@yahoo.com

ABC Comment Line: 323-671-4583

OLTL Viewer Comment Line: 212-456-3338

ABC Daytime Feedback Line: 212-456-7777

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