Let's skip the formalities and get right to the point: What kind of a whacked story is this show trying to spring on us? How completely bananas is it for Carly to tell Sonny that she slept with Jason? I can't even begin to tell you. She just nonchalantly names Jason as the possible father to her possible baby and what kills me is that she did it with absolutely no regard for Jax - nor did she bother to bring up the possibility that he could also be the father. Sometimes I seriously wonder what nasty thoughts are in that woman's head. So is Carly going to go running to Jax and protest, "Hey I had to say something!" I have a feeling that is not going to happen. As it is, Carly has just announced Jason's "impending daddydom" to his face and that patented deer-in-the-headlights look of his is only going to increase tenfold. If someone can come up with a fairly reasonable explanation as to why Carly would tell such an unbelievable lie, I'm all ears. I'd love to hear it. Protecting her kids from Sonny? I can see that but it still doesn't excuse the claim that she hit the sack with her best friend. What, does Jax no longer register on the Richter scale? I can also see her telling this whopper if she weren't married to Jax - but she is! That makes it even more nutso.

It's outta my hands, I tell ya! I just watch this show. Really.

And speaking of impending arrivals, I'll just put this bluntly as only I can. Oh wait, I've done this before and it seems to be getting me nowhere, but I digress. Here it is again: Give Scrubs a better story. This same tired argument they've been having is really starting to wear thin. What was wrong with, oh I don't know, having Robin show fear about giving birth as she herself is an HIV patient? Right now, it seems that Robin's health is being swept into a corner so we can be treated to more silly squabbles about Robin being too stubborn to accept Patrick's change of heart and Patrick clearly being in love with himself. The dynamics that actually surround this couple are not being tapped into and I don't mean Patrick thinking that Robin's mother Anna is hot or Mac determined to keep Patrick away from Robin because he believed him to be a sexual deviant. And I sure as hell don't mean snarling back and forth about what is posted in each other's blogs. Can you say snoozeworthy? In plain English: We can do better than this. Please try.

So in strolls Dr. Matt Hunter or whatever the hell his name is, and he smacks right into Maxie so we viewers can get that obligatory "Shelle reunited- OMG!" scene. So did I see stars, the galaxy and the moons of Jupiter when these two were brought back together on screen? To be perfectly honest, no. Did I even see even an ever so slight spark? Um, not really. And Matt has been on the air approximately six seconds and everyone in the hospital has declared him full of himself and acting like he's God's gift to medicine. Me thinks the show should've allowed us to form out own opinions of this guy and not make the other characters do it for us. Yes, we want to decide for ourselves if he is a Patrick-in-training but it sure looks like he will be since he's going to keep swiping paws at Maxie all the while taking notice of Elizabeth and then Lulu. Yep, sounds like Patrick to me. And we needed another obnoxious doctor with an "I love me" complex because...? I admit, I did kind of get a kick out of Nikolas putting the upstart in his place and Maxie taking full advantage of the opportunity to gloat but that's about all I've got.

If I were Elizabeth, I would consider taking notice of the new doc for no other reason that the fact that Jason is about to get dragged into Carly's latest hare-brained scheme. Sometimes I think it's way past time for Liz to just tell Jason, "Oh God, never mind!" Spinelli babbling about Claudia's possible interest in Jason within earshot of Elizabeth only reaffirms my belief that Liz should bolt for the nearest exit. It matters not that Jason shows no signs on returning that interest. I guess what really bugs me is the possibility that Jason will agree to act as the father of Carly's baby but he can't seem to get his ducks in a row in order to stake his claim to his real child, Jake. I mean, come on. How cheap of a shot would that be for fans of Liz and Jason? I myself am not among those fans but I'm also not a fan of the show's penchant for putting the screws to a couple (any couple) just because they seem to enjoy inflicting pain on us - and that is what this looks like to me.

There are a few things on the show that I'm enjoying so it's not all bad. As I mentioned last week, Claudia's concern for Spinelli is kind of cute and I believe that it is genuine. She seems to like him a lot and shows an almost motherly affection for him which I find touching, especially for a character with a tough as nails exterior like the one Claudia projects. See, I told you she was not all threats and claws. Jason just thinks that Claudia is nothing but ulterior motive and agendas, so when she says, "I like Spinelli, he's a sweet kid," Jason doesn't buy it. But I bought it - hook, line and sinker - because I really think she meant it. I also think we may see even more good changes come over Claudia. She definitely resents the fact that Anthony considers her insignificant but she doesn't seem to let that get to her too much. The fact that she refused to take out Jason on Anthony's orders is solid proof that Claudia is starting to turn around a little.

Now there are a few people whose dastardly personalities come in handy at a time like this. Trust me, I've had my doubt about Jerry and his involvement with Alexis, seeing as how he was once James Craig and... insert laundry list of crimes here. I declared Jerry a menace to society a long time ago and with no problem whatsoever, but this past week, I realized that his James Craig persona does have it's good points. Anthony made threats towards Christina and a freaked-out Alexis told Jerry of this terrifying conversation. "I'll take it from here," Jerry says, and that meant marching over to the Z lair, grabbing Johnny and shoving a gun in his neck and telling the Zacchara's that they had better rethink their plans and fast. In other words, if any harm comes to Alexis or her girls, you fine people will be combing the bottom of the nearest body of water looking for Johnny. I must say, I almost appreciated Jerry's actions. And this is the same guy that tried to gut and drown Claudia. It's almost nice to know that Jerry will come through for Alexis in a dangerous pinch. It also proves my point that Sonny leaving the mob really was a pointless gesture because it certainly didn't stop Anthony from threatening his daughter. What really threw me off, however, was the fact that Anthony was so blithely stating to everyone in the room that Alexis was a problem to be dealt with and Ric could only stand there in shocked surprise. What did I tell you Ric? Allowing yourself to be in Anthony's pocket would end up costing you. Now what?