Putting the fun in dysfunctional? Or just the diss?

Welcome back to the Love Shack! I’m so glad you found me last week and are coming back for more. Yes, it’s true — the Queen of Hearts is holding court for another couples therapy session. Why? Because those poor, crazy, mixed-up kids of daytime TV need some help, and I’m just the romance expert who can sort out the beauties from the beasts.

Which brings us to this week’s couple. To give you a hint, I’ll open with this week’s song choice:

They’re creepy and they’re kooky

Mysterious and spooky

They’re altogether ooky

The Manning family...

Yes, that’s right. As we bravely march forward into 2003, it’s time to snap our fingers in honor of Todd and Blair, that dysfunctional duo who’ve spent more than one New Year on the ins and outs. In other words, fasten your seatbelts — it’s going to be a bumpy ride!

As I said last week, ensconced cozily here at my Love Shack with the quill extra-sharp on my pen, I appreciate the fact that soap writers face different problems than I do as a romance writer. And no couple illustrates that better than Todd and Blair. You see, I get to end my books and send the characters off happily-ever-after, while those poor folks at OLTL are stuck breaking up Todd and Blair and then reuniting them, finding some new atrocity for one or the other to commit (She sleeps with Patrick! He sells their baby!) but also finding a way to redeem them enough to put them back together again. Whew!

I also get to pick my main characters right off the bat, so I know not to give them too much baggage that might cripple them later as hero or heroine material. And if some secondary or minor character starts to take over the book, it’s perfectly easy to go back and edit and make it look like I planned that hunchbacked toad as my hero all along. I just slide back to chapter one, and presto, chango, the hump becomes a mysterious and intriguing limp. And there I am in chapter two, tweaking the toad enough to turn him into a total fox.

Okay, it’s not easy. But it is possible.

Pity the poor people who put together soap operas. Unless they choose to simply ignore it (which some certainly do) they’re stuck with yesterday’s choices. Day players brought on to be one-note villains strike a chord with viewers, and voila! They’re suddenly stars.

And that, as I understand the story, is what happened to Todd on “One Life to Live.” Roger Howarth is an intense and talented actor who brought a certain charisma and depth even to the role of a horrifying rapist. But, over the years, as Howarth’s acting chops continued to collect fans, and Todd kept getting moved closer and closer to the center of the canvas, they had to find a way to create love interests and storylines for a character who was, basically, a monster. How you solve a problem like Todd? How do you move the rottenest apple on daytime onto hero turf and make him ready for a love affair?

As it happens, dark and difficult heroes are a staple of romance fiction, especially on the historical side. From Emily Bronte’s Heathcliff to Victoria Holt and her “Devil on Horseback,” the model of a romantic hero was often a bit cruel. Things only got darker and more dangerous when sex was added to the mix (does the term “bodice-ripper” ring a bell?) but romance writers got very good at developing strategies to show the softer side of their tortured heroes to make them seem worthy of love. As you’ll see, these are the very techniques “One Life to Live” writers have employed with Todd over the years.

1. Tell us why he turned out this way. Ah, yes. Back story. In books, we have the luxury of interior monologues, but soaps have to be more creative to work in those memories of a terrible childhood to explain, if not excuse, today’s messed-up manchild. Todd got an abusive stepfather and the damaged Lord gene pool added to the mix.

2. Show that he loves children and pets and they love him back. Remember the parrot? Plus (more importantly) Todd has always gotten along with children. He saved Jessica and Max’s kids from a car wreck, he and Jessie have always been pals, and the storylines have demonstrated again and again that he truly loves Starr (and now Jack). Kiddies, puppies, kittens... All good to show the tender heart inside the beast. In this case, making them the Manning family instead of just Todd and Blair was a master stroke.

3. Give him a faithful retainer, brother, or even enemy. By staying loyal to his aged valet or housekeeper, by forging a bond with a relative, by earning the respect of a crusty opponent, even the most twisted mister looks capable of giving and receiving love. In Todd’s case, he got Sam, his high school coach, which wasn’t entirely successful, but it was still a good start (plus it illuminated more of his backstory, as in #1 above). Now, with Viki and Jessie always on his side, Todd has to deal with being loved when he doesn’t feel worthy, and it’s a valuable lesson.

4. Let him get in touch with his heroic side. Saving the babies in #2 from a blazing inferno, arriving in the nick of time to foil that bank robbery, putting himself in danger to save someone else... It shows he has enough substance to come through for those he loves in a time of need. Yes, I know, Todd sold the baby and told Blair it was dead, but he was also Todd-on-the-spot to help it make it into the world in the first place. Again this week, when Todd stomped over to save Jessie from Mitch, he showed his inner hero and got back in touch with his history (#1). (Let’s hope he refrains from selling Jessie to anyone now that her paternity is in question.)

5. Match him with a fiery, feisty heroine. You wondered when I was going to get back to Blair, didn’t you? But, in my mind (and there are certainly any number of bestselling authors who disagree with me) the tortured hero can only be redeemed with a take-no-prisoners woman who can give back as good as she gets. Pairing a beast with a “wounded bird” or a victim is just plain ugly to me. That’s why Todd with Marty would never, ever, ever, not in a million years ever, work for me. So it’s with Blair, who has some pretty thorny chapters in her own history, that I think Todd is the best match. They fit. Now that they have children together (see #2, above) it’s a sealed deal.

All in all, I think the writers at “One Life to Live” (and actor Howarth) have done a very nice job at showing the layers inside Todd and making him seem human. Pairing him with Blair and making both of them responsible for their children has added heart to the mix (and note that Starr is as bent as they are, so no one is feeling sorry for the poor kid left with two crazy parents).

Because of Todd’s extremely bad past, this couple is not the hottest. They have definite issues in the bedroom that are going to take some time to work out. But in terms of the potential for deep and abiding love that transcends their personality problems, and especially when it comes to giving off Fated-to-be-Mated vibes — that these two people are uniquely suited to each other and nobody else — daytime’s most dysfunctional duo scores off the charts. With new writers in place who seem willing to explore the connection between them and write the characters with fire and angst rather than just plain gooniness, things are looking better every day.

My conclusion? Whether they’re at each other’s throats or just holding hands, Todd and Blair do put the fun in dysfunctional. And while they’re not sizzling between the sheets at the moment, they’re far from a fizzle. Kooky, spooky and ooky, Todd and Blair just plain work.

Keep those comments coming! I’ll see you next week when we descend even further into darkness with the vampirific Caleb and Elizabeth from “Port Charles.” Until then...