Robbed Of Hope

For a moment, I thought things were improving

The last two weeks, I have been handing out praise to Y&R for definite improvements in the storylines.  All that changed, however, this past week when the writers served up some of the most preposterous, ill-thought-out idiocy every shown on T.V….a tale which rivals the Ashley’s fake pregnancy/stolen baby debacle.  It stole from me any notion that this show is going to truly turn things around as long as the current powers-that-be stay the same.

From the beginning, the set-up for the Patty/Emily switch made zero sense.  Why would Jack be attracted to someone who is physically an exact match for the women who is responsible for killing his niece?  The insta-romance between Jack and Emily never rang true, and the hasty wedding was an obvious plot-driven point designed solely to get to the “big switch” as fast as possible.

Sprinkled liberally throughout are myriads of asinine problems and inconsistencies the audience is just expected accept or overlook.  In fact, this story has many of the same flaws as the Stolen Baby tale…because the writers placed BOTH of the ridiculous stories in psych wards. Let’s list some of the many glaring problems…        &n

How did Emily hit her head so hard she was knocked out? She was in a padded cell.  Patty was holding Emily’s nose in one hand and the water bottle in the other hand…which leaves both of Emily’s hands free to fight, yet she meekly swallowed the tainted water.  And didn’t anyone notice that “Coma Patty” had make-up on?  What about the tweezed eyebrows?  Patty was originally blonde…so why were her roots dark?  Patty was a violent patient, to the point she was supposed to be put in a straight jacket.  Why, then, was she strolling about untended in the hallway after her shower?  And why was she left for HOURS, untended, with a person in her cell?  How did she so easily procure peroxide to dye Dr. P’s hair?  Psych wards aren’t known for leaving caustic substances just lying about in hallways.  How did she rinse the peroxide back out of Emily’s hair…without leaving a wet mess on the floor?  And then miraculously and instantaneously manage to get Dr. P’s freshly bleached hair to dry?  Wow!  That peroxide created the exact same shade (with the same suspiciously dark roots) that Patty had.  That’s just a partial list of things vexing fans.

I know I’m also disgusted by being expected to accept that there is no discernable difference between Emily (an educated, sophisticated psychiatrist) and Patty (a crazy, emotionally stunted mess who has been locked in a cell for months eating institutional food.)  No one has noticed any difference in skin…coloring…smell…moles or scars…eyes.  Everything is supposedly exactly identical, and somehow Patty will be able to cover even though there are details to personal conversations she won’t know, and personal habits that are unknown.  She’ll even mimic all of Emily’s mannerisms.   (Actually, Patty is showing through, but everyone is now written as too dim-witted to notice.)                                        

She could even treat Dr. Emily’s patients…although she will have to figure out the passwords for all the computer accounts.  The same goes for all the passwords and account numbers for Emily’s finances, insurance, and everything else that goes with living a life.  Heck…somehow she’ll even fool Jack in bed, even though the preferences and choices will be completely different than Emily’s…but probably nearly the same as Mary Jane Benson’s.

Another strange thing was the complete absence of anyone from Emily’s life.  Apparently prior to her arrival in Genoa City she had no family, friends, or co-workers who would want to come share her special day.

It is all too far fetched, and because of that, this story is another giant FAIL, making me once again long for talented writers instead of the hacks who are penning this cluster *bleep*.  The frustrating part is, this storyline could have been written with a little sincerity instead of selling the audience short and insulting the viewers’ intelligence.  Patty could have taken an overdose, been rushed to the hospital, and escaped.  Then there would have been time to stalk Emily, learn details of conversations (and the wedding) and then she could have switched places somewhere with privacy…instead of in a mental hospital where there are people watching the patients and cameras everywhere (including IN THE PADDED ROOMS.)  Asking us to suspend our belief is one thing.  Expecting us to check our brains at the door (again) is another. 

Imagine if they had chosen to make it darkly humorous.  Emily could have spurned Jack’s advances, and then AFTER the switch, Patty (as Emily) could have seduced him all over again…just like when she was Mary Jane.  The switch could have gone from an overused convention to something fun.

There is one, slim upside.  It’s something to keep in the back of your mind…Patty being loose is the key to Adam getting caught for gaslighting Ashley.  Patty, if you remember, helped with some of the stunts, and (crazy or not) she can give vital details about Adam’s involvement.  She might be a lunatic, but the information she has will be the perfectly fit puzzle pieces needed to hang Victor Junior.  (And if Michael Muhney gets cast in the Hawaii-5-0 remake as is rumored to be a possibility, this could happen sooner rather than later.)

Also, I have to note that in spite of the atrocious writing, the actors are (as always) fantastic.  I have been especially impressed by the scenes between Doug Davidson and Stacy Haiduk…whether Haiduk is being Patty, Emily, or Patty playing Emily.  Davidson and Haiduk have been outstanding, and I think “Emmy” every time they’re on screen.&nbs

Incidentally, have you noticed that only women are involved in the “full-body plastic surgery, switch places with someone” tales on Y&R?  Sugar had surgery to pass for Sheila, so Sheila could get out and have surgery to pass for Phyllis (who was clearly taller than Sheila, so I guess Sheila must have had vertebrae added during her surgery)…Marge had her nose done, and was the perfect image of Katherine…now Patty has become Emily.  The only time in recent years there has been a male doppelganger was when Alistair played John Abbott for a bit…but since he was playing John The Ghost, it isn’t quite the same.  And there was no surgery involved…just a shower and a change of clothes. 

Quick shots

I love Stacy Haiduk, and think she is brilliant…but I will say again SHE IS TOO THIN.  As Patty stood in front of the altar, there was a camera shot from behind, and you could count the woman’s ribs through the fabric of the back of the dress.  Her bones are just as prominent from the front.  That’s isn’t healthy or normal.                                             

Father Todd wouldn’t marry Nikki and Paul because of the track record of divorce…so why would he officiate for Jack and Emily’s wedding when Jack has been married repeatedly. (To Patty, Lindsey, Nikki, Luan, Phyllis, and Sharon…many of whom Jack told they were the ‘love of his life.’)

CBS/Sony has the rights to whole catalogues of music, but for some reason soap opera weddings nearly always use the awful “Here Comes The Bride” song.  I’ve never actually been to a wedding where that song has been used.  And since Jack and Patty were supposed to be having a Catholic wedding, that song would not likely have been allowed, since The Bridal Chorus (it’s real name) is a secular piece from a Wagner opera.  (The Catholic Church tends to frown on non-religious music being used during the wedding proper.)

I cannot say enough times…I wish Beth Maitland were on contract, and the Abbott family had a story that involved all them working together.  I love scenes with Jack, Ashley, Tracy, and Billy…and I would love to see them take down Victor, especially after The Mustache’s odious and condescending response to Tracy pointing out how he’s wasting his second chance (and her daughter’s heart.)                                                 

Victor, who recently had a heart transplant and takes meds for epilepsy, swills more alcohol than Katherine when she’s off the wagon.   It’s repulsive that Victor didn’t learn anything from the death of Colleen (which came as a result of his perpetual scheming for revenge.)  However his desire for getting one up on the Abbotts may come around to bite him.  Nick used much of Newman Enterprise’s capital to pay back the bank investors, and then Victor used a copious amount of cash to purchase Jabot.  It would be poetic justice if Victor’s greed, need for vengeance, and rampant ego led him to create a situation wherein NE is vulnerable to a hostile takeover…perhaps by Jack or Tucker, or a combination of the two.

If Jack had any smarts, he would make peace with Gloria, then use her new position at Jabot to keep tabs on things.

What’s with Nikki fawning over Victor like the last several years never happened?  After all the vile, nasty things Victor has said and done to her, it isn’t believable…or sensible.

When she heard about “Patty,” Nikki went running to Paul’s side.  It was hilarious.  As she left, Victor, said, “You tell Paul if he needs anything, he should call.”  Yes, I’m sure Paul will want help from the man who used Paul’s sister and helped drive her to such an extreme state of insanity, while at the same time ruining Paul’s intended marriage to Nikki.

Here are some questions to ponder.  Why do all couples check in to the Genoa City Athletic Club when they want a night of romance?  Is the room service breakfast that good?  Can JT get alimony from Victoria?  And while Vicki was in Dubai, why didn’t she utilize a webcam to keep in contact with Reed?

It seems the writers only know two romantic locations outside of the Athletic Club…Paris and the unnamed Caribbean Island where Sharon and Jack, then Adam and Sharon, and now Jack and Emily have all gone.  They need a new travel agent.

Great (accidental) timing on Victoria and Billy getting stuck in New York because of a snow storm.  The day that episode aired, the whole country was pinned down because of excessive ice and snow.  And I see great potential for storyline and angst in a Billy/Victoria pairing.  I hope the writers pursue it.      

Raise your hand if you choked when Victoria sputtered at JT, “How can you keep working for a man like that?” meaning Tucker.  Is she oblivious to the felonious, dastardly dealings of her father?  Yet she doesn’t shy away from maintaining her position at Newman Enterprises.

Since Crazy Patty isn’t enough to swallow, soon Jana will “know too much,” and will be locked away somewhere by Daisy and whomever she’s working with.  Because, you know, we’ve NEVER seen that ‘brilliant twist’ before.  Gosh…the creativity of these scribes never ceases to amaze me.

elia is still the best dressed child on TV…and she’s a doll to boot.  I’ll end this week with a picture of the little cutie (with her on-screen mom,) because I can’t look at her without smiling.  And it’s one of the few things on the show lately with that positive affect.