Let me be perfectly clear. I have always thought Stacy Haiduk is brilliant, and that has in no way changed. But I am not happy with Patty Williams.

The first time we met Patty a few years back, she was one of those villains that could do anything…be anywhere…always had exactly what she needed. For example she could dye her hair with no sink or water…and no one would even notice the chemical smell. She could sneak in and out of psychiatric facilities. And pass herself off as a well-educated doctor. It was a farce, but we rode the wave, and at least there were some good scenes along the way.

This time, however, it’s been even more ridiculous. Patty has been in town for months. Her home town. A town in which she was infamous and all over the news. But no one recognized her. Not even at the hospital where she had previously been treated, and where her perfect twin, Dr. Emily, had worked. And again, she managed to get every bit of evidence she needed against everyone else. The whole thing was hard to swallow the first time.  And this time? I just can’t do it. I feel like Patty (not Haiduk) is draining the life from every scene she’s in…because it’s all plot driven. There is no logic or intelligence in Patty’s movements. And whereas the first time we at least got some decent scenes with Patty and Paul, this time we’ve had no good moments. Heck, even her face-off with Jack at the church was truncated. She entered wrapped in a mummyesque veil, raised it, identified herself, and shot him. It played out so fast, there was barely any time for a reaction, much less some drama.  And something about Patty in her wedding dress ensemble was reminiscent of Sadie Frost’s version of Lucy in Bram Stoker’s Dracula. The image of Patty as one Dracula’s Brides…the Undead…is getting to be more fitting.

I’m not the only one who feels this way. Here’s one of the many notes I’ve gotten on this topic:

“I'm baffled by the Patty return. Is it me or did it make no sense? Why did she come back? How is a person walking around the way she does (scarf, hats etc) not get noticed. A great actress but a pathetic loser character. I still think Patty should have killed Diane because she slept with Jack all those years ago.

The utter WASTE of talent and story makes me so sad. It won't be long now.....I see CANCELLATION looming...how 'bout YOU?   TLC23”

I, too, have been baffled by the Patty return. She’s been lurking in the background for months, but now we are to believe she hasn’t done a thing all this time except peek in windows and do needlepoint. It’s funny when Patty is institutionalized, she has the artistic ability of a toddler, but outside those walls she can create complex needlepoint pillows that look store-bought.

As I broke it down several weeks ago, Patty during this run has been written as alternately brilliant, careless, darkly witty, crafty and sinister, too crazy to function…and when she gets caught, she’ll suddenly be the spacey five year old again. Kudos to Stacy Haiduk for covering such a range, but Patty isn’t supposed to have multiple personalities. The writers don’t think from one action or plot point to the next for ANY of the characters, but most especially not for Patty. That’s what has made this whole Patty Returns Escapade fall flat.

Quick Shots

Even from the back, wouldn’t Emily have looked like Genevieve’s missing maid, “Myrna,” enough so Genevieve would have commented on it?

And there’s Victor calling Adam every name Victor should be aiming at himself. I loathe Victor.

I loved Adam pointing out all the garbage Tucker, Jack, Nick, and Victor put Diane through…including that they all slept with her.

Nice moment between Nikki and Phyllis, with Nikki thanking Phyllis for a change. Phyllis, on the rare occasions she does the right thing, rarely gets any credit.

If Ricky is going to be a villain of sorts, he needs to be more clearly defined. And if Avery is going to do nasty things (like making sure Phyllis is last to be arraigned,) she needs to own it.

Isn’t it convenient that Genevieve bought a magic wedding dress that changes size to fit whomever is wearing it…since she’s several inches shorter and not as stick thin as Patty, yet the wedding dress fits fine. As do the shoes. 

Jack, Tucker, Adam, Nick, Victor, Nikki, Phyllis, Ashley, Abby, and Victoria were all arrested and then arraigned. The only lawyers around were Michael and Avery.  Did those two lawyers represent ALL of those people? Conflict of interest.

Gee…Sharon’s ring from Victor was only used for a few weeks. I hope it wasn’t inscribed. Do you suppose he can return it?

Jill is right…Genevieve and Jack don’t know each other, and it’s too soon for a wedding. 

Victor is blaming Adam for Diane’s death…as though Victor marrying her while still sleeping with Nikki, then immediately dumping her and leaving her destitute had nothing at all to do with her state of mind. There was no more reason for Victor to marry Diane than there was for him to marry Sharon.

Are we supposed to think it’s funny that Victor had Adam moved into the men’s room? Because it isn’t. It just shows how petty Victor is. I hate it when there’s no one to root for.

Oh…and take your hands out of your pockets. That’s not how gentlemen stand.

Why does Chelsea barge into Billy and Victoria’s house without knocking?

Victor wants to stab Jack by partnering with Genevieve. “You’ll become a very rich woman.” Her response should have been, “I’m already a very rich woman.” Oh!  She DID say it!! Hahahaha!!

Hey! Now Jill is telling Billy and Victoria to stay on their guard. Two excellent points in one day. They finally gave Jill her brain back. Too bad they’re only using her as a Greek chorus.

If I ever have to hear about what a good mother Sharon is or how caring Victor is, I will vomit. Sharon went from letting her children believe she was dead, to marrying their grandfather, to dragging Faith from house to house to house. And Victor only care how he can use someone.

While the police are investigating “Myrna,” wouldn’t they check HER FINGERPRINTS? They should be all over the house.

WHY did Genevieve buy Beauty of Nature, stabbing Jack in the back? People are doing things with NO motivation or explanation. And Genevieve was brought on as strong and confident. Now she can’t even speak to Jack face to face?

“You’re lying to the man you love about something that’s incredibly important to him.” Cane saying that to Genevieve was laughable. He’s lied to Lily about everything right down to his identity. Several times.

Amazing! The acid burned Adam’s eyes, but didn’t scar his face at all. He’s not even a bit pink.

I really loved Tucker’s muted teal tie and shirt combo. Matched his eyes.

And the annulment papers for Victor and his latest wife are done in 24 hours.

There were no guests at the wedding.

This whole crazy bride shoots groom thing…didn’t Y&R do that already with Ryan, Victoria, and Tricia. There were minor differences, but much of the larger pieces are the same. The old story was somehow creative and suspenseful…and this is just….lame.

I would have liked to see Tracy kill Patty. 

Why is there no long-term fallout for people’s actions? Just because Nikki isn’t being charged for Diane’s death because it was “self defense” doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have emotional things to work through. Killing someone under any circumstances changes you.

Well…we have Adam now blind, and Jack now paralyzed. And I don’t care, because I know both will have miraculous cures by May, or August at the latest.

Why is VICTOR the one to run to Genevieve? He barely knows her…and he HATES Jack. Contrived much?

Patty took the time to change clothes while on the run. And how is she getting around? 

How is it that in the time Patty has been on the run she’s still managed to keep her appearance identical to Emily’s. One would think Emily would have cut her hair differently or something by now…especially knowing her patient is running around loose looking just like her.

Ricky and Father Todd talking about how fast characters grow up was funny, smart, and ironic dialogue.

I know it isn’t what I’m supposed to focus on, but Melody Thomas Scott looked spectacular in that pink dress.  The hair…the jewelry…all perfect.

I can’t believe Kyle got shipped off to boarding school right after his mom died. How cruel. Gee, kid…sorry your mom was murdered. Go to a foreign country and work through your issues on your own. But remember…we all love you.

Ricky is searching for Patty – a woman he’s never met – all by himself. And advised Father Todd to stay by himself in case she shows up. Mmmm hmmm. Not smart.

Where is Father Todd’s church that there’s no cell service on the way? Good grief…Wisconsin isn’t some undeveloped nation.

Adam won’t let his blindness slow him down. Last time he was blind, he was able to drive and all kinds of stuff.

Will Sharon still want compassion for Adam when she faces it’s his fault Patty was still running loose? Adam broke Patty out of the psychiatric hospital (through the miraculously wide, spotless vent that led directly to the outside,) financed her run, and knew she was back in town. Jack getting shot is as much Adam’s fault as Colleen being dead is Victor’s fault.

Nikki was out of line implying Genevieve had no business being at the hospital. Gen might not want to marry Jack right now, but that doesn’t mean she wanted the man to be shot.

Good for Cane for calling Ashley, Abby, Tucker, and Billy out on their hypocrisy for judging Genevieve so harshly. Yes, I am actually on Cane’s side for a change. The only person in a position to comment cleanly is Tracy…and she won’t, because she has more kindness, class, and intelligence than the rest the town put together.

Are we supposed to be impressed that Victor is bringing in another eye surgeon for Adam? Wow. He did something for the child he created in love with Hope. Big freakin’ deal.

Still no explanation as to why Genevieve would buy Beauty of Nature.

Mea Culpa

I received a note last week under the comments section after the poll…and it appropriately put me in my place.

“Kitty”, your condescending response to the reader who disagreed with you at the beginning of this week’s column is concerning. Not once did you thank him or her for reading your column and taking the time to write. Instead, you chose to insult the poster’s grammar and dismiss his/her opinions. I’m not exactly the biggest fan of the show right now, but, hey, if someone enjoys it, I’m happy for that viewer. In fact, I rarely tune in and perhaps you should consider doing the same. I spend 10 minutes each week reading your column (or one on a different site) and that’s enough to keep me up-to-date on all of the Genoa City happenings and lets me know if I should be tuning in. Life is too short to spend an hour each day doing something you so clearly dislike. I’m sure coming up with pages of complaints and bitter rants every week can’t be fun either. I’m serious… you’ll probably be happier if you just stop watching. Pick up a book or go for a walk instead. It really is the best way for you to send a message to TPTB that you’re dissatisfied with the state of the show. Best of luck to you.  Michael”

You’re right. I was unnecessarily rude, and I should be above such things, especially given how long I’ve been writing this column. I apologize for reacting…or perhaps over-reacting is a better description. It was hard for me to resist the urge to fire back when someone in turn insulted me (“hateful,”) insulted the medium (“a freaking soap opera,”) insulted the rest of the viewers (“pathetic,”) and then claimed no disrespect was meant. I felt like I was defending not just me, but everyone else at whom the poster had taken a shot. And upon re-reading, I didn’t handle it as well as I should have. Thank you for reminding what I should be doing.

Whereas I apologize for how I responded, I am not backing down on my opinions about Y&R itself. And the reason I still watch the show is I still hold out hope that the network will hear me (and the many others who are unhappy) as return this show to some form of its former glory.

“Girls!

Mama just read that Kassie DePaiva, who played Blair on "One Life to Live" for 18 years, is being pursued by TPTB at "Young and the Restless" to take over the role of Dr. Casey Reed. Roberta Leighton played the role of Nikki's tough-talking sister from 1978 to 1981 and I think DePaiva would be a perfect fit on TV's #1 rated daytime drama. Oooooh, I hope it's true. I know that's right!  Miss Clarissa”

I, for one, hope it isn’t true. Don’t get me wrong. I love Kassie DePaiva. But the cast of Y&R is too big already…the show has an obscene track record of bringing in great actresses from other shows and misusing them…and last, and most important, Casey is Nikki’s OLDER sister, not younger. DePaiva is too young for the role, and I am sick and tired of TPTB playing so fast and loose with ages. This would be as bad as wasting Maura West as Diane instead of creating a role that suited her age and talents.

“Hi, Kitty!

Enjoying your posts, as usual. Something you wrote this week, about the show being much better 3 and a half years ago, made me write you this e-mail. So here goes:

I just moved to France a month or so ago and the other day I caught an episode of Y&R here. At first I just watched out of curiosity, but then I started thinking about all the things that have changed in the short time since we have seen these scenes; right now in France they are showing the episodes when Sabrina dies, I believe that was the summer or 2008 (?) I know back then many of us were pretty upset about one sl or another, but things were great by comparison:

Nikki was not the pathetic drunk she has become (again), she was a big executive at Jabot and Victor hadn’t yet told her he wished she was dead (that, for me, was his lowest point);

Sharon was with Jack and even if many disliked that pairing, that time she really was the lady of a manor, she had the respect of the society and a job, running RS with her husband and Phick;

Lane were going through their first stages of falling in love, before Cane’s lies and Chloe’s baby daddy drama;

Chloe, herself, although pretty much everybody hated her, was a feisty character, that actually had potential;

Old Heather was still around, remember that sexy woman that loved a Newman and was loved back;

Adam hadn’t become this psycho charicature, that no matter what he does everybody hates, except Sharon;

Neil was with Karen;

Victoria hadn’t managed to ruin yet another marriage and she had nice hair;

Brad and Colleen were ALIVE (I think I should have started with this);

Phick was in a committed relationship (can’t stand them, but I am not blind) and Nick actually had a business outside of Newman.

What improvement have we had since then? The only real good thing I can think of is Billy Miller, but for the rest...could we just turn back time? 

Keep up the good writing! Cris”

What a great letter! The time you cite, in fact, was right as these current writers and producers took over.  (September of 2008, I think.) Although many complained about the regime at that time, I would much rather see those stories, which focused on families, romance, and business, than anything we’re being subjected to now.

And yes…I too miss Vail Bloom. I didn’t like her at first, but she smoldered with the original Adam and also with Billy, and she hit her stride in the role as Adam’s enemy right before she was let go.

“Two weird Y&R things today

1) Victor tells Sharon that Patti shot Jack. Does Sharon even ask how her ex-husband is doing -- if he's, y'know, like, going to die? No, she says "What? Wait, that would explain what happened to Adam." Because, after all, there is no one in the world but Adam. It would've taken 10 seconds of air time for her to ask about Jack, have Victor tell her the doctors are working on him, then have Sharon return to Adam while acting shaken by both Adam's and Jack's injuries. But nooooo....

2) Victor calls Michael to arrange covertly for Adam to see a vision specialist. Why Michael? Michael is a lawyer. He doesn't deal with doctors. He doesn't arrange press conferences or do all of the other things we've seen Victor telling him to do. He's not Victor's administrative assistant. That's Connie's job. Anyone remember Connie?

Much as newbies are usually wastes of air time, what they really should do is introduce a new corporate character who is Victor's all-purpose flunky. At the same time, let Michael re-grow a spine, get fed up with all the shady things Victor has him do, and go be a lawyer. (Of course, then his air time would be a fraction of what it is now. Which is worse: Having a great actor disappear, or having his character assassinated? And why are these are only choices?)

Latest stupidities in a series. Collect 'em all. :-P  Matt K.”

Right on all points. I don’t understand Sharon being all-consumed by Adam. She is even willing to risk custody of her daughter for him. And she no longer seems to care for anyone else.

And Michael? He is a glorified day-player now. Played by an EMMY winner. But he might as well be fetching The Big Guy’s dry-cleaning, for all the dramatic impact he’s having. And I, for one, really miss Christian LeBlanc and all he has to offer as a lead. At this point Angelo is getting more airtime than Michael…and that’s just criminal.