Too Much Mitch

In the midst of rumors of another OLTL regime change, news that the current Mitch/Dorian storyline had been a last-minute rethink doesn’t help matters.

By: Mrs. Blondi von Slagdevicz

TPTB revised the story of Dorian and Mitch, and it could very well ruin the rest of this story.

News of this revision came straight from the editors of Soap Opera Digest within the last two weeks, along with an explanation as to why previous previews hinting that when Dorian makes her triumphant come-back, she’ll do so as Mitch’s puppeteer.

Superficially why, because the people behind OLTL showed something entirely different on-screen from the spoilers given. Exactly why, who can say.

Maybe Valenti, Griffith & Malone [sounds like a law firm] wanted to keep the villain in Mitch, a galvanizing force in the community, an evil everyone could team up and fight against, the ultimate, albeit obviously easy, antagonist ... conflict without the work.

Maybe revisiting the past, by having Dorian orchestrating Mitch’s attempted rape of her daughter Cassie, proved too damning for the beloved diva who – as she archly informed Viki last week – sees life in shades of gray, not b/w.

Regardless, and as much as I lurve me my Mitch Laurence, he’s on too much. Look around at the various OLTL boards. A lot of other viewers are in agreement. Take the cartoon characterization down a notch, give the man a little gritty realism without the GH anti-heroic treatment, and start devoting equal airtime to umbrella stories involving the other residents of Llanview, who aren’t merely peripherally interested.

Mitch’s Bible quoting was cute – in the first few months of his return. But now, it’s become PC-esque farce. [Hey, Max, did you get a load of Caleb’s love-making technique with Livvie earlier this past week, with his I’m dying for you to sink your perfect clean white fangs into my flesh orgasmic foreplay? ROTFLMAOPMP!]

His one humanizing trait, one that distinguishes him from a beast, had been unconditional fatherly devotion to Jessica. After watching him fairly caress the hidden knife of his cane while repeating a Sonny Corinthos-copyrighted threat against betrayal, even from family, forget that.

At this point, it’s just a matter of time – hurry up! – before the good guys catch up with the bad guy, end of story. But, what a shame. So much TPTB could’ve tapped into with the multi-dimensional nuanced touch of a charismatic, compelling, captivating actor such as Roscoe Born. Wasted, because perhaps, he’s too good at being too bad.

I’m not sure Mr. Born would’ve jumped at the chance at full redemption ala Todd Manning, anyway. The actor’s gone on record: digs the role, can’t see it lasting forever, this nut job’s gotta pay.

In the meantime, the tug-of-war between ABC Daytime and its OLTL fans takes the urgency of storyline clean-ups to another level. Seems certain antsy execs who live and die by the insta-ratings haven’t been satisfied with OLTL’s Nielsen performance level since executive producer Gary Tomlin was replaced by assistant producer Frank Valenti and the writing staff headed up by a rehired Josh Griffith and Michael Malone—after barely a year, not even. They might be looking to shop around for a brand new regime sooner than later, because, lounging behind GH, AMC and barely above PC just isn’t good enough, who cares about board buzz to the contrary?

These clueless idiots – probably the same types who thought it was a nifty idea to force Korean-American comedienne Margaret Cho to drop 5,000 pounds (until she suffered from kidney failure) and whitewash her ethnic heritage to better sell her sitcom, American Girl, to clueless idiotic Middle American white people – refuse to take into account the differences in each soap’s fans, as well as their influence on what constitutes successful. Not to mention the impatience of a pre-teen MTV addict on Ritalin and Eminem.

In general, OLTL’s fans aren’t as, ahem, shall we say, proactive as DOOL fans or as militant as GH fans can be in terms of support and criticism. They’ll politely suggestion improvement through the proper channels, but they won’t push it. Most likely, they’ll talk non-OLTL topics amongst themselves until the show gets better, then they’ll tune in. No big deal.

Given enough time – at least longer than five months! – and enough monitoring of the on- and off-line feedback venues, I’m sure those clueless idiots could find reassurances to keep OLTL’s current regime in place, and just let them do their jobs, find their mojo again.

The last time the suits meddled in the middle of a ratings panic, they hired JFP and Guza & Co. to head up GH. Now look. The show’s a veritable lesson in misogyny and filth.

I’m not even sure going with Plan B on the Mitch/Dorian front was the wisest choice, either. Plan A, for all its shock value and damaging mischaracterization at Dorian’s expense by a hairline, served a greater payoff: a reason for a drawn-out storyline about Mitch’s and Dorian’s more complex effect on their loved ones and enemies. Could you imagine Cassie’s reaction at finding out that her own mother planned the rape just so she could grow closer to her estranged daughter, at the time? How about Viki’s? Then, Mitch could stay on with a little more validity than the Lucifer of the hour, as a means to the good guys’ end.

If that conflicts with my earlier assertion that Mitch should not become a superhero of Luke Spencer proportions, I beg to differ. I want Mitch to stay on as long as possible, but not if he’s only going to be another throwaway cartoon villain. He can offer so much more than biblical quotes, snarling into his cane and blind shoot-outs.

The bottom line is that OLTL has vastly improved, received critical and viewer acclaim, and even managed to carve a landmark niche by pairing up Marcie with Al, without the clichéd requisite Slim Fast make-over. Heat up the rivalry between Hank and R.J. for Evangeline’s affections, switch Antonio back to a lawyer-in-training under Nora’s tutelage, and give the entire community a real criminal element to fight against (remember Todd and his frat boys gang rape case?).

That should do it. For starters.

Fan Mail:

If I had known a “Marcal” column would generate so much positive e-mail, I’d have written one much earlier. But then, that’s not why we columnists write in the first place, is it? Well, it helps. Thanks, everyone, it’s nice to know I have such appreciative fans...