Only three weeks into it and I must tell you, I don’t have much to say.  Yeah, I know, I can muse on and on ad nauseum most weeks but at this moment I have fallen through those many holes, each one leading to the next, like a game of connect the dots.  And while we’re on the subject, how about why’s. Lots of those floating around too. 

Ok, I will admit, you have to give SURRENDER some credit so far. It’s not really the arc’s fault that it has to play clean up for the three that came before it while trying to send forth a parable of forgiveness, redemption and resolution.  Rewriting history and creating flashbacks to fit the current story line(s) isn’t really so bad, every soap does it.  We’re all accustomed to it what with actors coming and going depending on their career situations, or actors dying and coming back to life as actual plot device, but it just seems so haphazard at this point in time. 

Like nothing was planned. 

Now we know of course it was all planned, but why does it feel so strongly that they’re flying by the seat of their pants here, each explanation tripping over the next.  It’s like when you tell a lie you really don’t want to tell and it begets another and another and pretty soon you don’t know how to resolve it or get out of it.  If you’re going to retell a soap’s history in order to bring those new viewers everyone is lusting for up to speed, at least review the history longtime viewers know and match ‘em up.  Loyal soap fans have very long memories; we get pissed off when the writers screw with past realities.  

None of this is in any particular order, has any particular rhyme or reason or purpose for that matter either except to follow where my musings lead.  Be forewarned, it might not be pretty.

Stephen Clay/Caleb.  Brilliant explanation for Caleb’s return to earth – open the gates of heaven to send an angel back down, open the doors of hell and let a devil out.  Keep the good vs. evil balance intact (we’re not sure what balance that might be but going with it anyway).

So, if both beings came back to earth at the same time, how did Caleb become Stephen Clay the rock star in exactly six weeks?  I assume he came back to earth alone, otherwise that balance of power would be upset, so in six short weeks, vampire powers notwithstanding, he managed to hook up with an entire band of vampire musicians, a manservant vampire who appears to have been with him for the past hundred years, and enough material to launch an extravagant concert in the park.  Yeah he only sang one song but surely the Stephen Clay Experience had not planned on performing only one song, Stephen said he would play all night.  All those songs and arrangements to learn, all in six weeks.  Who knew Caleb had such talent.  Nary a whisper of any of this before.  Truly miraculous.

Livvie/Tess.  Why would Caleb split Livvie into two halves of the same coin. By separating her good from her bad how would that serve Caleb in any way, shape or form unless for some perverse kind of afterlife revenge.  This by the way was never even hinted at because if we’re to believe the invented flashback from an arc we’ve already seen, he pulled Tess from Livvie before she betrayed him.  

As for an explanation of Livvie’s behavior through SUPERSTITION and TORN wasn’t it intimated that it was all about the candles, one called Trouble in particular?  This split personality explanation does of course clean up this hole much better, the devil made her do it.  A Livvie running around without any conscience, morals or scruples because of Caleb’s manipulations is much easier to redeem.  Never mind all that nastiness all summer long and her alienation of the entire town.

Drugging Daddy has conveniently been swept under the rug too.  Perhaps if Lucy knew about the real cause of her Doc’s personality transformation, she might have been better equipped and more willing to deal with his new, shall we say, idiosyncrasies.  This hole opened only to push Lucy into a storyline with Ian.  Ok, still following but wondering if any attempt is actually going to be made to cure the Kevin/Ryan combo while he enters into an unholy alliance with Caleb to free his daughter from the protective clutches of the innocent one.  Whew, deep breath.

Then there’s the rather large hole of Livvie never suffering any of the vampire cravings or side effects of being bitten. Caleb certainly bit her yet she never needed blood nor experienced superhuman strength.   Every other bitten victim has and does.  There was no special water for her to drink either to calm those desperate cravings that have been portrayed so convincingly. Do Jack, Ian and Elizabeth ring a bell? 

Why does Tess have none of Livvie’s memories save for a few of Caleb. Did their brain split in two as well.  Damn Caleb is good. 

Perhaps it will be left for Tess to save vampires and humans alike, those that need saving that is, which come to think of it is pretty much the whole town.  Everyone’s soul is in some current state of distress , ripe for Tess’s healing powers.

Random Holes:  Jack had enough strength to throw Rafe up against the wall and rip the door off its hinges but couldn’t lift the tree off Reese.  Are we to assume it was her vampire powers that blocked his strength, of course, but there was no reference to it.   Rafe didn’t appear to know, or remember that Jack was once a vampire.  Huh?  Shouldn’t his slayer instincts have been twitching uncontrollably by then?

The question of Rafe’s status is still up for grabs.  He came back to earth fully restored as human, enough was made of him living a normal life, well as normal a life as a vampire slayer can lead I suppose.  Where are his powers coming from?  It has gone way beyond simple vampire slayer powers now hasn’t it.  Vanishing and creating instant home movies are not tricks I believe he mastered in his past human life but ones he picked up in heaven.  We are all still guessing about this but so far this hole only gets deeper. 

A huge point was made of Elizabeth in cahoots with someone when she hit Port Charles, her greedy little fingers ready to steal Alison’s inheritance.  Unless that’s the tie in to a connection with Joshua (yes in this case the references were anything but subtle) this plot point  which was the whole reason for Elizabeth’s appearance, has fallen down one of those holes too.  And just to be picky, Elizabeth said Malcolm fell overboard while they were cruising the Aegean.  The gang is now off to hunt down clues to Malcolm’s disappearance off the isle of Capri, clear the other side and in the Mediterranean. 

Lucy the Vampire Slayer couldn’t pick up on Ian’s new agitated state right away.  Took her a while.  Shouldn’t her slayer radar have been twitching relentlessly too? 

I’m sure there’s lots more potholes that need paving, and all you longtime viewers probably have your favorites.  Here’s mine.  This is one holey mess that I do believe everyone agrees on, fans of the couple or not.

Rafe/Alison:  Stuck in one hole after another for the sake of building “romantic” tension again for these two.  Been there done that.  This couple needed to be advanced, the angst and conflict taken to a new level, not regressed to see if lightning can strike twice. In Rafe’s own words from a past life, you can’t go backwards.  You can’t unlearn what you already know, but hey that’s to be left for another musing. 

The writers should at least try to follow their own cues from arc to arc.  At least make the effort.

Siblings?  That chasm is so wide, so unbelievable and so easily bridged that all viewers are screaming.  Why hasn’t the little matter of Ed been brought up yet. If not by Rafe then by Lucy.  Alison already knows all about heaven, this won’t shock her delicate sensibilities. 

DNA testing. Repeat after me.  DNA testing.  Ok Malcom’s DNA can’t confirm he’s not a match to Rafe because there is no body but DNA testing can confirm there is no link between Rafe and Alison in a heartbeat.  Why hasn’t that light bulb gone off in anyone’s head yet?  Even if the results were manipulated, which they would be, by which ever vampire you choose to hold responsible, it would at least make more sense that Alison could actually believe such nonsense.  Taking all this on blind faith doesn’t respect the character or her history, doesn’t respect Rafe or his history and doesn’t ring true to every single moment PORT CHARLES went with this couple.  No amount of sweeping is going to clean up this hole.  This one needs to be filled in and sealed with cement. 

Swiss cheese anyone?