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   DAYS OF OUR LIVES

SALEM PLACE

Updated January 16th

 

 

Cruise Control

 

Someone take the wheel and start driving this show.

*Taps fingers* Okay, when is someone going to realize that those at Days' creativity wheel have clearly fallen asleep?

The Carrie/Rafe/Hot in Herre scenes were the most contrived pile of nonsense I've seen in quite some time. Lemme get this straight: The heat is being stupid and has turned the office into the equivalent of a oven, yes? Rafe and Carrie are trying to get work done but articles of clothing keep coming off because they are absolutely baking in there and the landlord can't be reached to fix the heat, how am I doing so far? Okay, and we can't open the windows because they are stuck thanks to a coat of paint, am I still making sense? So instead of doing the obvious, like say, oh I don't know... WALKING OUT THE EFFING FRONT DOOR, Carrie and Rafe decide to "tough it out" and each can't stop staring at the other's scantily clad self. Unless I missed the part where the front door was stuck and they couldn't get out, this just had totally dumb written all over it.

Not nearly as dumb as Abby's mad crush on Austin, mind you, but damn close. You will get some insight on that story when you read my interview with Kate Mansi (Abby) which will be up very soon here at Soaptown. Abby has it in her head that Austin's marriage is not perfect and that she is the one that is making his heartstrings go zing. Never mind that Austin is old enough to be her father, oh and there's that part where Austin probably doesn't feel the same way about Abby as she does about him. Just my guess. Abby only sees the beauty in which Austin walks and keep in mind too that Austin was never the crispiest chip in the bag either, it will undoubtedly take him a while (if ever) to figure all of this out. Suddenly developing a crush on a friend is nothing new, we've all had it happen. But me fears that Abby's view of her so-called romance with Austin is only going to lead to a huge disappointment. But not before we're subjected to scenes of her imagining sharing a passionate kiss with him, that is.

Then there is this Alice mystery, which is starting to grate my nerves, if you want to know the truth. Bo and Hope just keep overturning more and more rocks and finding more clues. Alice was too busy making donuts and advising her grandchildren to have time for this nonsense, come on. The latest find is a key to a safety deposit box that can't be opened without the other owner present. Because Hope is the estate executor, she can be one of the two people present. Dare I ask who the other person is? Dare I ask if anyone even still cares? The other owner is obviously Stefano, because it's like a law of Salem or something: Anything mysterious or underhanded or whatever has to have his damn wing in it somewhere. I think I know where this is going. It's a soap phenomenon I like to call, "Let's rake up and muddle some history using a beloved late character and keep throwing curveballs into the story because we honestly have no idea what to do with it." In other words, we don't know what's happening and I'm beginning to think Days doesn't either! You think we can't tell when a story is well-planned and when you're stuck so you have to wing it, pardon the pun? It shows on the air.

Well I'm thinking and, as we all suspect, somewhere in all this, some secret is going to be revealed about EJ. I have no idea, I'm just thinking and guessing at this point. This mystery involved Alice, Stefano and Susan, EJ's mother. So whose kid is EJ going to turn out to be if that's really what's up? And I have a feeling that's exactly what's up. Stefano doesn't have to be the father of every kid on the planet like he is now, you know. What would totally be fun is if EJ turned out to be a Horton and he's not a Dimera at all. Susan could've hooked up with Tommy or Bill or someone we never see and Alice was secretly funding EJ's future because he was her grandson. Hey, stop with the tomatoes, I have to come up with something here! If I recall correctly, Susan was already pregnant when Kristen pressed her into service. Hey it's a might better than changing John's identity every six months because no one can come up with a better story for the guy. Nor can they come up with something for EJ besides him doing grating things like forcing Will to do his bidding after Will made a pitiful attempt to blackmail him.

 

 

 

 

 

Days Of Our Lives

What is Alice's big secret?

She sold her donut recipe to Krispy Kreme and made a mint.
EJ is really a Horton but Alice paid Stefano to keep him since he is such a bad boy.
Stefano owes Alice a favor since she once caught him in a karaoke bar belting out "Burning Love."
Hey, you're guess is as good as mine!
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